Been reading some men bashing jokes, which are really quite good. Here's an example:

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man', Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

LMAO! Here another one:

After careful consideration and endless debate the perfect man has finally been named:



MR. POTATO HEAD!

He's tan! He's cute! He knows the importance of accessorizing.

And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face


How to Impress a Woman Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her,
Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her,
Laugh with her, Cry with her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her,
Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back for her.

How to Impress a Man

Show up naked. Bring beer.


And here's my favourite:

Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.

They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

They growl when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to play.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They leave their toys everywhere.

They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.