Watched ET on tv for the first time today.

Point deduced: Steven SPIELBERG is truly a great director. I mean, who else could've directed a movie in 1982 that could rival modern day movies? And the kid has really high pitched voice. And Drew Barrymore looks exactly the same, except bigger (and perhaps chubbier).

On first impression, ET seems like a midget with a squashed appearence who contracted skin disease. He looks ugly, and that was me being nice. But as the show progresses on, ET started tugging at our heart strings to the point where he had actually became cute, running after Yoda grunting "home, home" in delighted gasps.

I can understand why the scene where ET, the boy and the bike flew across the sky became some sort of a trademark. I mean, he's the bloody mascot of some filming company!

BUT, has anyone ever wondered why ET's spaceship came to Earth? They didn't come just to drop ET off, did they?


Scene 1, inside the spaceship:

ET's dad: ET! Sit down and eat your gobbledegook like a highly intelligent being!

ET runs around stark mad, arms flailing and making spurty noises.

ET's dad: ET! You better stop it or else!

ET's mom: Listen to what your dad says, little meteorite. The force is, after all, with him.

ET hides behind his mom's skirt and makes farting noises.

ET's mom: Why you little @#%$, come here! *takes out whip*

ET grabs hold of the whip and swings his mother around on the other end.

ET's mom: Stop it.. little creature from the moon.. wait till I catch hold of you...

ET's dad: *suddenly spotting Earth* hey little meteorite, we're going to the Earth to have some fun! Doesn't that sound exciting?

ET stops waving around the whip and nods enthusiastically.

Spaceship lands on Earth and ET alights.

ET's parents: Haha! Goodbye you horrid little midget! *closes gate* We're off to produce more civialised highly intelligent beings!

Scene ends with ET's parents having a romantic time inside while spaceship flies off.


Well, that wasn't too bad for a totally fabricated story, wasn't it? There isn't any proof, therefore concluding that the scene above was totally bullshit. But wait, I have the true story here with me, completed with evidence!



ET touching an image of a flower on his own planet. He yearns to come to Earth as he heard from a friend of his (who stole television soap operas off the satellites) that a very pretty species of homo sapiens love flowers and that by giving it to them, you get a power energizer.

In his own planet, they do not eat food. They rely on power energizing which comes in the form of a kiss, usually between parents and kids. Being an ugly midget with a squashed face, his parents don't kiss him much. His bull-shitty friend had told him that "power energizing" from a girl works hundredfold.

ET mulled over it day and night. Finally, he persuaded his friend to come with him to Earth. Upon descent, his friend's megacell rang. It was his mother, asking him to buy groceries. ET's friend left ET on Earth to go about his quest while he went off to buy gobbledegook groceries for his mother.

ET went around searching for flowers. He searched high and low. He searched here and there. Finally, he found a bunch.



It wasn't easy getting that bunch of flowers, he had to murder that shadow at the back with his extra long finger by sticking it where the sun don't shine.

Now, for the girl. He wandered left and right, here and there and finally, he found a specimen. She was shorter and smaller that he expected, but she was a girl...



ET: "Kiss me, my lady, and I will make you fly."

She comtemplates. "Really? But you're so ugly I might throw up on you. Give me the flowers first."

ET: "No kiss no talk."

SHE: "Okay.. here goes.."



SHE: "Urgh! Now hand over that pot of flowers and make me fly!"

ET remembered his friend's departing words.. "Bring me back a pot. I want some er.. energizing too!" He wondered why his friend said it with glee and a glint in his eye.

Suddenly, there was a mechanic whirring sound. His friend came back! With one last gleeful look at the girl who was stretching out her hand for the flowers, he bounded off towards to spaceship with the pot in hand. As it lifted off, he wrote something on a piece of paper and threw it down at the girl.

She picked it up and scanned through the scrawls. She looked up, gave the shrinking spaceship the middle finger, threw the paper on the floor and stomped off in a huff.

*camera focuses in on that piece of paper on the ground*

"Don't trust a midget who promises to make you fly. Especially one who looks like that bonzo driving the spaceship."



Wow. I'm actually amazed at the kind of crap I can come up with at 4 in the morning. *yawns* Good night all. I'm off to cook up more plots of destroying a movie.