I'm feeling so alone..

First, I skipped class at Meritus today and accompanied Y to City Hall today in my BLOODY 3 INCH HEELS. He was supposed to meet his friend around 3 at the MRT station, but seeing as his friend was late, we went over to Marina Square to try out Carls Jr. , the new fast food joint in town.

He left abruptly in the middle of our meal when his friend came to get him.

I started feeling lonely and browsed through my list of friends in my handphone to see who I could drag out to accompany me. Amos had his girlfriend. Jennifer was with her boyfriend. Ed seemed a great choice, so I messaged him. He said he was going to meet his partner for some discussion so I was left on my own again.

With lonliness as my companion, I slowly and torturously making my way back in 3 inch heels and blistered feet. Everyone stared at the limping girl in the heels that were way too high. What choice do I have? My class specifically requires me to wear 3 inch heels.

I couldn't believe this was me, feeling all lonely and desolate. Didn't I embrace loneliness? Didn't I love walking down the road with the person who knew best about me, myself?

Gawd I need friends. But everyone seems so distant. Everyone's busy, with their girlfriends, with their own pleasures, nobody ever seems to want to reach out a hand anymore. I'm sick and tired of always being the one to reach out, to hold a group together. When I'm not holding on, everyone just seem to treat me as discarded waste.

Too miserable to continue anything here. I feel like a porcelain doll being smashed into a million pieces. Might continue if I feel better later.