Sucks To Be Me


... for the past few months.

I had a mini meltdown in front of the Lazy last night. Threw my bag on the floor and couldn't stop crying. Couldn't take it anymore.

Everything I do, everything I lay my hands on, turns to shit. Everything around me, associated with me, turns to shit. I thought it was just a rough patch that'd be over in a while, but I was wrong.

So wrong.

I'm blessed to have a wonderful family, but it serves to remind me of what a failure I've become. I've tried to grit my teeth and bear with it in a rational and reasonable way. I've tried to be mature and independant as much as I can.

I'm sick of doing all those and getting shit back.

I don't want to be the adult anymore who helps you to find solutions to problems all you sons of bitches are too lazy to use your brain to solve. I don't want to be the mediator anymore. I don't want to be responsible anymore for things that aren't under my jurisdiction. I don't want to be rational and understanding anymore.

I'm at the point where the tiniest bit of flame you cause inside me is enough ammo for me to slap you, or at least stop talking to you for a long, long time.

Don't tempt me.