Blogging from Kenny's again. He's asleep (as usual) while I just feel like jumping out the window.

Maybe I shouldn't care. Maybe I should just wait it out and see what happens. Maybe the pain will stop.

Maybe.

Hey, if I can make myself no longer be afraid of lonliness, what can't I do?

Seems like he doesn't care much. Well neither will I. I will no longer hurt. I will no longer cry. Fuck everything.

I'm moulting! Literally. The skin on my fingertips and my nose is peeling like no tomorrow.

Oh yea, about the dry swimming yesterday. We played at Roy's until Sam fell asleep, and then played some more. It only ended around noon. I paid a grand total of $2.70 in mahjong tuition fees while Kenny paid $6 and Jacq paid $13. Which makes Roy a slightly richer man than us. I don't care, Roy's gonna have to treat us dinner.

Speaking of dinner, I think I'll be whisking Kenny off to Outback for some time alone before his birthday this coming public holiday. Or Moonfish. What do you think?

Or anyways, why am I treating him so nice when he doesn't even care?

Because I am dumb.

I sound bitter, do I? Well that's probably because I AM bitter. About what, I don't really know. There's just this really bitter and sour feeling in my mouth that I want to get rid of.

Roy suggests badminton tonight, and my dear primary schoolmate suggests supper. I'm still in contact with three of my primary school mates, by the way. We come out for supper occasionally. It's just that we've all been busy for the past year to meet up much. I'll see how things go, depending on what time Mr Pig here decides to wake up.

Fuck, I really am so bitter I feel like strangling him. Or myself. No, I think him's better.

He has this automated response for everything that it's become a matter of protocol for him. No sincerity at all. Guys, don't you know that sincerity is the way to a girl's heart? And even if you've found a way into her heart, sincerity is still one of the best ways to keep her happy? (Notice I said "one of the ways". Not "the best way". So don't go blaming me if it doesn't work.)

He was talking in his sleep, and went "UUMMM" and "OKAY" as if responding to someone in his dreams. I don't hate the fact that he's talking in his sleep, I only hate the fact that his responses are all automated. Everything's automated for him. Even love.

Darn.