I found these online while surfing just now, and they're too good not to repost!
From http://mingle2.com/dating/phases by Matthew Inman (they've got other great stuff too!)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I Can't Feel A Thing
We had a talk and had the problem solved last night.
But instead of the love-induced delirium that usually comes with finally getting to touch him again after so many days, I ... can't feel a thing.
Instead, I feel even more alone. I feel even more like leaving
The awkward passes in the hallway. The awkward hugs.
We just aren't us anymore.
I think these feelings stem from having to fight for an apology, even in the most obviously-his-fault situations. I'm so tired and battle-stricken from having to fight for apologies that I rightfully deserve.
It took 4 years for me to get my very first sincere apology from him, and that took an entire week's effort.
And it's not just about the damned apologies. Its about so many other things.
I don't know how I am can not feel a thing, and yet feel so alone.
All I feel is.. that I want to sit here in this chair in office. For as long as possible.
I don't want to go anywhere.
We had a talk and had the problem solved last night.
But instead of the love-induced delirium that usually comes with finally getting to touch him again after so many days, I ... can't feel a thing.
Instead, I feel even more alone. I feel even more like leaving
The awkward passes in the hallway. The awkward hugs.
We just aren't us anymore.
I think these feelings stem from having to fight for an apology, even in the most obviously-his-fault situations. I'm so tired and battle-stricken from having to fight for apologies that I rightfully deserve.
It took 4 years for me to get my very first sincere apology from him, and that took an entire week's effort.
And it's not just about the damned apologies. Its about so many other things.
I don't know how I am can not feel a thing, and yet feel so alone.
All I feel is.. that I want to sit here in this chair in office. For as long as possible.
I don't want to go anywhere.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Nowhere To Go
No one to talk to. So I'm talking to you :)
Shouldn't have expected any less from him, seeing as everyone else in the world is treating me like shit recently, but I did. Which brings me to higher heights to dash me down harder.
Everyone else in the world could hate me, and I wouldn't feel a thing. But not him.
We haven't talked since Tuesday night. And you know what? We didn't even quarrel. We had an argument about his friends (again) and Mr C (who shall henceforth be known as HWSNBN).
It didn't even start out as an argument about his friends.
He was just talking about his poor colleague whose girlfriend forbids him to meet his friends over dinner on Tuesday.
Clarification #1: I do not forbid him to meet his friends. I just don't want to be dragged along to places I don't want to go or forced to conform to groups that I do not belong to. But he is free to go, which he doesn't want to without me, which he then blames me for separating him from his friends.
So I asked him if he was happy where we were. As with any topic about his friends, he gets sensitive and it spirals out of control. From group cultures to conformity, to getting pushed around by HWSNBN* (he actually likes it), we ended up sitting in my living room and he went on about how sad HWSNBN's life is, and that's why he's a douchebag and we should forgive him for it.**.
* This is for the ladies. Girls, will you like having your man pushed around? Won't he seem less of a man when he doesn't do anything about it and stops you from doing so? Even if it wasn't for the love you have for him, it's for the self-respect you have for both yourself and him. When he is actually OK with being pushed around and still goes back for more, you somehow lose whatever respect you have for him as a man.
** Douchebags aren't born. They're cultivated. A sad life story isn't an excuse for douchebaggyness. Everybody has a sad story, most people become better people because of it. But when people choose to become douchebags, you know they're the ones to avoid. Just like how my white brother has turned into a douchebag and we're avoiding him. I could easily go back for more and let him outcast me from the group like he does, but I actually have self-respect.
Clarification #2: I admit, I do bitch about HWSNBN a lot. But that's because he is a horrible person. It's just like Guy A pisses me off, and I bitch about how horrible Guy A is. And because we're always together, of course I'm going to bitch about Guy A to HIM. I'm sure he doesn't want me to bitch about Guy A to other guys right? Also, the whole wide world bitches about HWSNBN, even him. He sometimes bitches to me about what a douchebag that guy is, so why am I condemned (yet) again for voicing out my views on that guy?
The shit thing is, I wasn't even focusing on his friends, or HWSNBN. I was focusing on Us. Us, as in me and him. Us, as in the people in this relationship.
I just wanted to know if he was happy where we were, and how we could improve things, and I wanted to make him feel better by showing him other points of views, trying to make him understand, which he took to be me forcing my thinking on to him.
Clarificatin #3: I am not forcing my views on him. I just want him to see what I see when things happen around me. Instead, he thinks I'm forcing my views on him. He doesn't see that he's forcing his will on me when he forces me to go out with people I don't consider to be my friends.
He keeps saying that he understands what I'm trying to say, but he doesn't. Sure he understand the words coming out of my mouth, but he doesn't get the point of what I'm saying and why I'm saying it. Why would I keep repeating what I've said before countless of times if I didn't have a point, or if he understood the point way before?
"How many years have we been quarrelling about this?"
It's because you never understood me before. Or even made the effort to try to understand. You just keep saying that you understood, you understood, you understood. But you never ever did. You keep dragging it back to you, back to him, back to the group. It was never about me.
So we were having this talk in my living room. Actually, he was the one doing the talking. I got so sick of being interrupted that I decided to try a different approach. I let him talk all he wanted without interrupting him. He went on for a long time, with me being quiet on the other end of the couch.
When he was done, he asked what I had to say. I simply said that I was waiting for him to finish what he had to say.
What I meant to do was to wait for him to finish whatever he had to say without interrupting him, so I could say my piece without being interrupted. I had taken mental notes at points in which I had wanted to intervene but didn't for the sake of not interrupting him. I too had a long piece to say.
But I never got the chance.
As soon as I said that I was waiting for him to finish his piece, he got up and walked off, saying that he doesn't want to waste his breath on me anymore.
Which might not seem much to you, but its mighty hurtful to me. We have this agreement to never walk off angry during an argument. And to never let an argument drag overnight.
I sat in the living room for hours after that waiting for him to come back so we could finish the talk, but he never did. Looks to me like he gave up. He might have thought that he knew what I wanted to say; he might have thought that he understood, but he never did.
We haven't talked since.
I'm supposed to be angry at him for not following through on his demands of me to never walk out during an argument and to finish things on the spot. I'm supposed to be angry at him for not waiting it out to listen to what I have to say. I'm supposed to be angry at him for dragging (yet again) the topic of us to include people who are not in the relationship with us.
But for some reason, he is angrier than me.
I'm sick and tired of being the reasonable one. I'm sick and tired of being the one who's trying to open communication channels when he's not. I'm sick and tired of NOT being the selfish one. I'm sick and tired of holding together this wreck we call communications. I'm sick and tired of being the one who's desperately holding on to the passion in the relationship.
If you don't want to waste your breath anymore, that means we're done communicating.
We're done.
No one to talk to. So I'm talking to you :)
Shouldn't have expected any less from him, seeing as everyone else in the world is treating me like shit recently, but I did. Which brings me to higher heights to dash me down harder.
Everyone else in the world could hate me, and I wouldn't feel a thing. But not him.
We haven't talked since Tuesday night. And you know what? We didn't even quarrel. We had an argument about his friends (again) and Mr C (who shall henceforth be known as HWSNBN).
It didn't even start out as an argument about his friends.
He was just talking about his poor colleague whose girlfriend forbids him to meet his friends over dinner on Tuesday.
Clarification #1: I do not forbid him to meet his friends. I just don't want to be dragged along to places I don't want to go or forced to conform to groups that I do not belong to. But he is free to go, which he doesn't want to without me, which he then blames me for separating him from his friends.
So I asked him if he was happy where we were. As with any topic about his friends, he gets sensitive and it spirals out of control. From group cultures to conformity, to getting pushed around by HWSNBN* (he actually likes it), we ended up sitting in my living room and he went on about how sad HWSNBN's life is, and that's why he's a douchebag and we should forgive him for it.**.
* This is for the ladies. Girls, will you like having your man pushed around? Won't he seem less of a man when he doesn't do anything about it and stops you from doing so? Even if it wasn't for the love you have for him, it's for the self-respect you have for both yourself and him. When he is actually OK with being pushed around and still goes back for more, you somehow lose whatever respect you have for him as a man.
** Douchebags aren't born. They're cultivated. A sad life story isn't an excuse for douchebaggyness. Everybody has a sad story, most people become better people because of it. But when people choose to become douchebags, you know they're the ones to avoid. Just like how my white brother has turned into a douchebag and we're avoiding him. I could easily go back for more and let him outcast me from the group like he does, but I actually have self-respect.
Clarification #2: I admit, I do bitch about HWSNBN a lot. But that's because he is a horrible person. It's just like Guy A pisses me off, and I bitch about how horrible Guy A is. And because we're always together, of course I'm going to bitch about Guy A to HIM. I'm sure he doesn't want me to bitch about Guy A to other guys right? Also, the whole wide world bitches about HWSNBN, even him. He sometimes bitches to me about what a douchebag that guy is, so why am I condemned (yet) again for voicing out my views on that guy?
The shit thing is, I wasn't even focusing on his friends, or HWSNBN. I was focusing on Us. Us, as in me and him. Us, as in the people in this relationship.
I just wanted to know if he was happy where we were, and how we could improve things, and I wanted to make him feel better by showing him other points of views, trying to make him understand, which he took to be me forcing my thinking on to him.
Clarificatin #3: I am not forcing my views on him. I just want him to see what I see when things happen around me. Instead, he thinks I'm forcing my views on him. He doesn't see that he's forcing his will on me when he forces me to go out with people I don't consider to be my friends.
He keeps saying that he understands what I'm trying to say, but he doesn't. Sure he understand the words coming out of my mouth, but he doesn't get the point of what I'm saying and why I'm saying it. Why would I keep repeating what I've said before countless of times if I didn't have a point, or if he understood the point way before?
"How many years have we been quarrelling about this?"
It's because you never understood me before. Or even made the effort to try to understand. You just keep saying that you understood, you understood, you understood. But you never ever did. You keep dragging it back to you, back to him, back to the group. It was never about me.
So we were having this talk in my living room. Actually, he was the one doing the talking. I got so sick of being interrupted that I decided to try a different approach. I let him talk all he wanted without interrupting him. He went on for a long time, with me being quiet on the other end of the couch.
When he was done, he asked what I had to say. I simply said that I was waiting for him to finish what he had to say.
What I meant to do was to wait for him to finish whatever he had to say without interrupting him, so I could say my piece without being interrupted. I had taken mental notes at points in which I had wanted to intervene but didn't for the sake of not interrupting him. I too had a long piece to say.
But I never got the chance.
As soon as I said that I was waiting for him to finish his piece, he got up and walked off, saying that he doesn't want to waste his breath on me anymore.
Which might not seem much to you, but its mighty hurtful to me. We have this agreement to never walk off angry during an argument. And to never let an argument drag overnight.
I sat in the living room for hours after that waiting for him to come back so we could finish the talk, but he never did. Looks to me like he gave up. He might have thought that he knew what I wanted to say; he might have thought that he understood, but he never did.
We haven't talked since.
I'm supposed to be angry at him for not following through on his demands of me to never walk out during an argument and to finish things on the spot. I'm supposed to be angry at him for not waiting it out to listen to what I have to say. I'm supposed to be angry at him for dragging (yet again) the topic of us to include people who are not in the relationship with us.
But for some reason, he is angrier than me.
I'm sick and tired of being the reasonable one. I'm sick and tired of being the one who's trying to open communication channels when he's not. I'm sick and tired of NOT being the selfish one. I'm sick and tired of holding together this wreck we call communications. I'm sick and tired of being the one who's desperately holding on to the passion in the relationship.
If you don't want to waste your breath anymore, that means we're done communicating.
We're done.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
One Gigantic *ahem*
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090915/tap-139-pm-lee-says-singapore-greater-ef-231650b.html
Dear NTU students. I'm sure you know how to spot *ahem* when you see it.
We are having one fucking big problem with physical constraint.
Imagine. 1 HDB flat. Thousands of people. Only 20 or so parking lots. Less than 10 bike parking lots.
United Premas aunties fighting for commissions, giving summons like no tommorrow. 4 bike summons already take up more than 10% of my take home income.
Gahment die also don't want to build more parking lots for its citizens. Spend so much money on foreigners.
And people like us can't do SHIT about it simply because.. we're peasants. Who the fuck cares about peasants who aren't beneficial to the gahment in terms of monetary gains except for fucking PARKING SUMMONS? Who would prefer us, peasant-CITIZENS of Singabloodypore, over rich foreigners who have cash to give to the Gahment?
Too many cars? Don't worry, summon those peasants. Economic crisis? Summon those peasants. Gahment not enough money? Summon those peasants. Peasants have no say because they are poor people.
I am one pissed off peasant.
PS: Don't sue me. I have absolutely nothing left for you money grubbers.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090915/tap-139-pm-lee-says-singapore-greater-ef-231650b.html
Dear NTU students. I'm sure you know how to spot *ahem* when you see it.
We are having one fucking big problem with physical constraint.
Imagine. 1 HDB flat. Thousands of people. Only 20 or so parking lots. Less than 10 bike parking lots.
United Premas aunties fighting for commissions, giving summons like no tommorrow. 4 bike summons already take up more than 10% of my take home income.
Gahment die also don't want to build more parking lots for its citizens. Spend so much money on foreigners.
And people like us can't do SHIT about it simply because.. we're peasants. Who the fuck cares about peasants who aren't beneficial to the gahment in terms of monetary gains except for fucking PARKING SUMMONS? Who would prefer us, peasant-CITIZENS of Singabloodypore, over rich foreigners who have cash to give to the Gahment?
Too many cars? Don't worry, summon those peasants. Economic crisis? Summon those peasants. Gahment not enough money? Summon those peasants. Peasants have no say because they are poor people.
I am one pissed off peasant.
PS: Don't sue me. I have absolutely nothing left for you money grubbers.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The Injustice Of It All
It's so great that I sat down for an hour straight doing nothing but pounding away on my keyboard to send out this long-assed e-mail to the LTA.
Reproduced in its entirety below.
To Whomever-It-May-Concern,
12 September 2009 2.20pm
I am writing in to appeal for the two parking summons I received on 10th and 12th September respectively for my motorcycle, licence plate FN7418M, and to make a complaint regarding the work ethics of United Premas staff.
I was overseas from 8-12 September, and have just reached home not long ago. I went to check on my bike before I came home because it had a small hole in it which I suspect was caused by the summons officer from when I received a ticket on 3rd Sep in an effort to get to my number plate under the cover.
I was infuriated to see today:
1) The small hole had turned into a huge rip, exposing half of the front of my bike to the mercy of sun and rain. As it has a delicate engine, I like to keep it covered so that it is not exposed to the elements. Who knows how long it has been like that? Probably from 10th or 12th Sep onwards.
2) There were TWO parking summons, TWO days apart. This gives me the impression that the summons officer could, if he/she really had a mind to, camp out at this particular carpark and issue tickets every hour until the respective owners remove their cars. It was not as if the second summons officer, Hamiza Bte Abdul Rahman, did not know that there was already one parking ticket issued by Misliah Bte Mohamed before her - it was paper clipped to the ripped bike cover.
This is a particularly big problem in my carpark - Y47. My boyfriend who lives with me, has received tickets on two occasions at 7.01am when he put coupons that end at 7am, and on one occasion got a ticket at 8.01am when the full amount payable kicks in. My mother, who recently got her first car, tried time and time again to purchase season parking unsuccessfully. She finally got the season parking, but it started in September. So from the time she got the car, which was mid August, until 1st September, she got more than 15 parking tickets, all within the hour of coupons expiring.
My mother, being a simple minded person, paid for ALL the parking summons because she was unable to go through the hassle of appealing the parking tickets as she is the breadwinner of the family and is always working. I feel that the exceedingly numerous parking fine are a flat-out extortion from people like my mother.
3) The second summons officer - Hamizah Bte Abdul Rahman - the one who blindly issued the second ticket, STAPLED the ticket to my already ripped bike cover. STAPLED. This is exactly the kind of atrocity that caused my bike cover to be ripped in the first place. As I have clarified before, my bike is a delicate bike, it needs to be kept out of the sun and rain.
4) The worst was yet to come.
Upon closer inspection, I found a few deep scratches on my windshield. It was not there before I went overseas, I am very sure, as I take good care of my bike (or I wouldn't have made such a fuss about the ripped bike cover). I would guess that it happened somewhere along the line of "pulling the hole wider to look for my number plate" or "paper-clipping/STAPLING the ticket onto my bike cover" when a heavy bag hit against it.
Attached are pictures of the state of my bike when I got back earlier today.
In conclusion, I am only willing to pay the fine for the ticket issued on 10th September (notice number H0140963T) but not for the one issued on 12th September (notice number H0145744R).
In addition, I would like to request for compensation of a new bike cover that I purchased today (priced at S$32.00) right after I found out the state of the old bike cover, and also compensation for a new windshield of the same model (priced at S$130.00) as the scratches cannot be removed on this windshield. I would honestly appreciate it if nothing happens to them again due to the actions of incompetent staff from United Premas.
I am sure in my conviction that it is their doing as nothing bad has happened to my motorcycles before United Premas took over. No scratches, no ripped covers.
In future I would advise that the United Premas company select their staff with more vigour, or at least teach them to respect other people's property.
I apologise if I sounded harsh in this email, but please understand my situation. I cannot keep paying for other people's mistakes.
Please forward this email to the relevant department so that I can be contacted to have the matter resolved and my compensation made.
Thank you for taking the time to read this email.
Best Regards,
Jazzyme (this one changed to protect my privacy on this blog, lah)
The ripped cover with my ear sticking out.
The parking tickets side by side and the position of the scratches.
The scratches. If it can be picked up by my lousy cameraphone, trust me, it's deep.
And the STAPLED on ticket.
Morons.
It's so great that I sat down for an hour straight doing nothing but pounding away on my keyboard to send out this long-assed e-mail to the LTA.
Reproduced in its entirety below.
To Whomever-It-May-Concern,
12 September 2009 2.20pm
I am writing in to appeal for the two parking summons I received on 10th and 12th September respectively for my motorcycle, licence plate FN7418M, and to make a complaint regarding the work ethics of United Premas staff.
I was overseas from 8-12 September, and have just reached home not long ago. I went to check on my bike before I came home because it had a small hole in it which I suspect was caused by the summons officer from when I received a ticket on 3rd Sep in an effort to get to my number plate under the cover.
I was infuriated to see today:
1) The small hole had turned into a huge rip, exposing half of the front of my bike to the mercy of sun and rain. As it has a delicate engine, I like to keep it covered so that it is not exposed to the elements. Who knows how long it has been like that? Probably from 10th or 12th Sep onwards.
2) There were TWO parking summons, TWO days apart. This gives me the impression that the summons officer could, if he/she really had a mind to, camp out at this particular carpark and issue tickets every hour until the respective owners remove their cars. It was not as if the second summons officer, Hamiza Bte Abdul Rahman, did not know that there was already one parking ticket issued by Misliah Bte Mohamed before her - it was paper clipped to the ripped bike cover.
This is a particularly big problem in my carpark - Y47. My boyfriend who lives with me, has received tickets on two occasions at 7.01am when he put coupons that end at 7am, and on one occasion got a ticket at 8.01am when the full amount payable kicks in. My mother, who recently got her first car, tried time and time again to purchase season parking unsuccessfully. She finally got the season parking, but it started in September. So from the time she got the car, which was mid August, until 1st September, she got more than 15 parking tickets, all within the hour of coupons expiring.
My mother, being a simple minded person, paid for ALL the parking summons because she was unable to go through the hassle of appealing the parking tickets as she is the breadwinner of the family and is always working. I feel that the exceedingly numerous parking fine are a flat-out extortion from people like my mother.
3) The second summons officer - Hamizah Bte Abdul Rahman - the one who blindly issued the second ticket, STAPLED the ticket to my already ripped bike cover. STAPLED. This is exactly the kind of atrocity that caused my bike cover to be ripped in the first place. As I have clarified before, my bike is a delicate bike, it needs to be kept out of the sun and rain.
4) The worst was yet to come.
Upon closer inspection, I found a few deep scratches on my windshield. It was not there before I went overseas, I am very sure, as I take good care of my bike (or I wouldn't have made such a fuss about the ripped bike cover). I would guess that it happened somewhere along the line of "pulling the hole wider to look for my number plate" or "paper-clipping/STAPLING the ticket onto my bike cover" when a heavy bag hit against it.
Attached are pictures of the state of my bike when I got back earlier today.
In conclusion, I am only willing to pay the fine for the ticket issued on 10th September (notice number H0140963T) but not for the one issued on 12th September (notice number H0145744R).
In addition, I would like to request for compensation of a new bike cover that I purchased today (priced at S$32.00) right after I found out the state of the old bike cover, and also compensation for a new windshield of the same model (priced at S$130.00) as the scratches cannot be removed on this windshield. I would honestly appreciate it if nothing happens to them again due to the actions of incompetent staff from United Premas.
I am sure in my conviction that it is their doing as nothing bad has happened to my motorcycles before United Premas took over. No scratches, no ripped covers.
In future I would advise that the United Premas company select their staff with more vigour, or at least teach them to respect other people's property.
I apologise if I sounded harsh in this email, but please understand my situation. I cannot keep paying for other people's mistakes.
Please forward this email to the relevant department so that I can be contacted to have the matter resolved and my compensation made.
Thank you for taking the time to read this email.
Best Regards,
Jazzyme (this one changed to protect my privacy on this blog, lah)
The ripped cover with my ear sticking out.
The parking tickets side by side and the position of the scratches.
The scratches. If it can be picked up by my lousy cameraphone, trust me, it's deep.
And the STAPLED on ticket.
Morons.
Friday, September 04, 2009
你不想讲，我也不多说
I too feel that it's unfair. I too feel like being selfish. But WTF WTF WTF can I do about it?
So many things. So little time. Don't even have the time to talk.
Thing about blogging is, you look at your old posts sometimes and wonder why you were so emo. Then you look at your old posts sometimes and wonder when you were ever happy. Was is just two weeks ago I was blabbing about happier times?
Feels like an eternity ago.
I too feel that it's unfair. I too feel like being selfish. But WTF WTF WTF can I do about it?
So many things. So little time. Don't even have the time to talk.
Thing about blogging is, you look at your old posts sometimes and wonder why you were so emo. Then you look at your old posts sometimes and wonder when you were ever happy. Was is just two weeks ago I was blabbing about happier times?
Feels like an eternity ago.
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