Paradox
Following my previous post which puts me one notch above emotionless, I thought I could be hurt anymore. Seems like I can.
Seems like I've spent so much time building walls up against Lazy that I've neglected to protect my back. So the very vulnerable wall-less side of me was like a free-for-all hunting-season shooting ground.
And shoot they did.
With the aid of Lazy, my mother took a shot at me today which shattered the once strong wall in front of me. For some reason, she always knows where my weakest points are and charges full force into them. She always knows the worst thing to say to break my spirit.
It feels like I've stepped into a paradox where everything is topsy-turvey. Everything that was perfect was now dim and dark and grey. Everything I've believed in, or tried to anyway, was now rushing back at me in the face, yelling out the truth of everything I ever pretended wasn't.
I say what I say because everyone around me demands explaination for everything I do. And if I don't fulfil what I say within a short period of time, they say I only like to talk big. Along the way they threw in some discouragement too, for good measure, just to prove that they were right.
I personally feel that I am not doing a bad job. I am not completely useless. I started working since 12 and have acquired a powerful resume. I am equipped with skills that most people at my age don't, and I have the fucking ability to climb. I just choose not to because I want to spend more time with my dogs. Is it so fucking hard to understand?
I know that my theories and my thinking and my way of life may not be conventional, but it is to the best of what I think is right - striking a balance. Who are you to say that I am useless?
Using Lazy's words, the only person I've just began to trust again, breaks the bond between me and him. Are you happy now? Do you feel happy every single time you found the worst possible thing to say that makes me want to jump out the window in the worst possible way?
You make me sick. I hope I never become like that.
At this point, I actually don't care anymore. Some part of me actually saw this coming from far, far away. It's ok, you guys can continue to misunderstand me. Ah well.
Back to my cartoons.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
MUAHAHAHAH~!
Top 10 Man-gina/She-nis Activities
Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
1. Finally find that damn G-Spot
Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a blowjob
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Pee standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9
So I guess that for either sexes, you become brainless when you have a penis. Bwahahaha~
Top 10 Man-gina/She-nis Activities
Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
1. Finally find that damn G-Spot
Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a blowjob
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Pee standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9
So I guess that for either sexes, you become brainless when you have a penis. Bwahahaha~
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Anybody here has a dog?
I've just registered for Pets Magazine's "Better Owner, Better Dog" seminar with Lazy. Anybody else wanna join in the fun? Register now to get the early-bird discounts!
If you own a dog or intend to get one, this seminar is for you.
The "Better Owner, Better Dog" seminar will be the first-ever comprehensive dog care seminar in Singapore covering a range of dog-related issues. There is something for every dog owner at this seminar!
The seminar will be held on Saturday 19 April 2008 at The National Library from 12.30pm to 6.30pm. It includes a pre-seminar cocktail and a high-tea reception spread.
Each attendee will receive a goodie bag of samples/starter kits from the sponsors, a limited-edition Pets Magazine T-shirt, a free pet massage consultation/check at Pawsitive Sensations, and $50 off group training for your dog at K9 Shiloh Dawg Skool. All these are worth more than $90!
The "Better Owner, Better Dog" Seminar is supported by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, Action for Singapore Dogs, and Noah's Ark.
More details available at http://www.petsmagazine.com.sg/seminar. Register now to enjoy special discounts!
I've just registered for Pets Magazine's "Better Owner, Better Dog" seminar with Lazy. Anybody else wanna join in the fun? Register now to get the early-bird discounts!
If you own a dog or intend to get one, this seminar is for you.
The "Better Owner, Better Dog" seminar will be the first-ever comprehensive dog care seminar in Singapore covering a range of dog-related issues. There is something for every dog owner at this seminar!
The seminar will be held on Saturday 19 April 2008 at The National Library from 12.30pm to 6.30pm. It includes a pre-seminar cocktail and a high-tea reception spread.
Each attendee will receive a goodie bag of samples/starter kits from the sponsors, a limited-edition Pets Magazine T-shirt, a free pet massage consultation/check at Pawsitive Sensations, and $50 off group training for your dog at K9 Shiloh Dawg Skool. All these are worth more than $90!
The "Better Owner, Better Dog" Seminar is supported by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, Action for Singapore Dogs, and Noah's Ark.
More details available at http://www.petsmagazine.com.sg/seminar. Register now to enjoy special discounts!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
I Enjoy Grossing People Out
The right side of my face is a bit swollen but it's not that obvious as to warrant a picture to show you guys. Or maybe I just don't want to show my swollen face here.
Anyways, I was very annoyed with the wire gauze I had to bite just now because it itched too much, so I took it out prematurely and contended with the blood.
Took at least 3 of these babies and the blood is still going strong. Now there's a patch of mushy soft gooey feeling thingy at the back of my mouth where the tooth used to be. Eewwww.
And you know what I'm doing right now at this very moment? ... Eating a burger. Right now. Very slowly and delicately because I can't open my mouth wide. So I have to nibble piece by piece.
You know something is wrong when you'd rather bear the pain than to go without your McDee's.
The right side of my face is a bit swollen but it's not that obvious as to warrant a picture to show you guys. Or maybe I just don't want to show my swollen face here.
Anyways, I was very annoyed with the wire gauze I had to bite just now because it itched too much, so I took it out prematurely and contended with the blood.
Took at least 3 of these babies and the blood is still going strong. Now there's a patch of mushy soft gooey feeling thingy at the back of my mouth where the tooth used to be. Eewwww.
And you know what I'm doing right now at this very moment? ... Eating a burger. Right now. Very slowly and delicately because I can't open my mouth wide. So I have to nibble piece by piece.
You know something is wrong when you'd rather bear the pain than to go without your McDee's.
I Did It!
I was in so much pain that I went ahead and called up a relatively known dental clinic and got the first slot.
The doctor was a very nice man who understood my fears and took things very slowly. Thankfully, the tooth could be extracted by simply plucking it out. But the position of the tooth was so awkward that he had to give me 4 injections of anesthesia to make me feel nothing.
I did feel something though; I felt the tooth ripping out nerve by nerve. It pinched a little, but wasn't entirely horrendously painful as most would have me believe. There was surprisingly little blood when I rinsed after he extracted the tooth.
The damage was $120. Not very expensive considering the doctor was very nice and friendly and experienced.
It's painful and itchy now. Actually it's more itchy than painful, mainly because of the gauze I had to bite hard on for another hour. The gums around the area are hurting a lot too, because the tooth had been grinding against them for quite some time now and they're raw.
Do you want to see the tooth? Now for the weak-hearted.
-->
-->
-->
For some reason he included the blood when he put it into the bag. Nice.
I was in so much pain that I went ahead and called up a relatively known dental clinic and got the first slot.
The doctor was a very nice man who understood my fears and took things very slowly. Thankfully, the tooth could be extracted by simply plucking it out. But the position of the tooth was so awkward that he had to give me 4 injections of anesthesia to make me feel nothing.
I did feel something though; I felt the tooth ripping out nerve by nerve. It pinched a little, but wasn't entirely horrendously painful as most would have me believe. There was surprisingly little blood when I rinsed after he extracted the tooth.
The damage was $120. Not very expensive considering the doctor was very nice and friendly and experienced.
It's painful and itchy now. Actually it's more itchy than painful, mainly because of the gauze I had to bite hard on for another hour. The gums around the area are hurting a lot too, because the tooth had been grinding against them for quite some time now and they're raw.
Do you want to see the tooth? Now for the weak-hearted.
-->
-->
-->
For some reason he included the blood when he put it into the bag. Nice.
Every Moment Awake Is Pure Agony
It is like a constant pain that never dulls. And with every minute the pain gets worse. The only solace I have is when I am asleep, and even that is fitful and broken.
Now that I have been forced awake yet again for the nth time (I don't wake up so early of my own free will. Nobody wakes up at 9am in the morning of their own free will.) I might as well stay up until I can find a way to get rid of this pain.
This horrible, sideways growing and back-of-mouth grinding WISDOM TOOTH!
I actually have all 4 already, but only this one on my upper right is causing me so much agony that I can't even think straight, much less sleep well.
I can't eat solids, it hurts when I yawn or even swallow liquids, I can't laugh, and you know what the worst part is? I have no money to have it removed.
My friendly HR deposited my cheque on Friday, which pretty much means I am still broke as of today until tomorrow afternoon. And what with people chasing after me for ridiculous loans every day since god-knows-when (They chase me to lend them money, not return them money), tbere's the added stress of my bike still in desperate need of servicing, and Mandy in desperate need of training. Not that she's an entirely bad girl, she just needs some fine-tuning.
...
It is so annoying not being able to say certain things that I would like to say in a fit of annoyance and disappointment because of "the powers that be" that moniter my blog. Yes, not "power", but "powers"
I think I'll just pay a visit to the dental clinic when it opens in awhile. I think I'll just sign for the bill first even though I don't like to sign for big amounts. I read in forums that upper wisdom tooth can just be plucked out, so I hope it can be done during today's visit, else I will go crazy with pain tonight.
Argh.
It is like a constant pain that never dulls. And with every minute the pain gets worse. The only solace I have is when I am asleep, and even that is fitful and broken.
Now that I have been forced awake yet again for the nth time (I don't wake up so early of my own free will. Nobody wakes up at 9am in the morning of their own free will.) I might as well stay up until I can find a way to get rid of this pain.
This horrible, sideways growing and back-of-mouth grinding WISDOM TOOTH!
I actually have all 4 already, but only this one on my upper right is causing me so much agony that I can't even think straight, much less sleep well.
I can't eat solids, it hurts when I yawn or even swallow liquids, I can't laugh, and you know what the worst part is? I have no money to have it removed.
My friendly HR deposited my cheque on Friday, which pretty much means I am still broke as of today until tomorrow afternoon. And what with people chasing after me for ridiculous loans every day since god-knows-when (They chase me to lend them money, not return them money), tbere's the added stress of my bike still in desperate need of servicing, and Mandy in desperate need of training. Not that she's an entirely bad girl, she just needs some fine-tuning.
...
It is so annoying not being able to say certain things that I would like to say in a fit of annoyance and disappointment because of "the powers that be" that moniter my blog. Yes, not "power", but "powers"
I think I'll just pay a visit to the dental clinic when it opens in awhile. I think I'll just sign for the bill first even though I don't like to sign for big amounts. I read in forums that upper wisdom tooth can just be plucked out, so I hope it can be done during today's visit, else I will go crazy with pain tonight.
Argh.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
You're my courage to go on (blogging)
... Sosincal. Your words mean to me a lot more than you know.
And now, some long awaited photos of Christmas, Jacky Cheung's concert and Reunion Dinner Night for the Tan juniors.
Christmas -
We had company on Christmas eve.
My mahjong kakis, Onn and Benny and their respective girlfriends. It's damn obvious what we were doing right before opening the wine Onn brought, isn't it?
Their defination of a screwed cork.
What the heck.
So we messed around for awhile until Benny's girlfriend had to go home, during which Onn's girlfriend became our temporary kaki until Benny came back.
So the next day was Christmas (obviously), and we spent a quiet evening together. We did present opening at home and then set out for a small little BBQ all by ourselves.
Lazy's gift.
See, it has little hearts in it.
What makes this so special? Because it was so sweet and totally unexpected. We were out shopping together with Cudas the weekend before, and I was swooning over this watch in one of the shops. I didn't even drop any hints.
Anyways, Cudas got me this fisheye camera she got from http://www.lomotion.com/. She's some sort of goddess there and has loads of free points.
Notice the cat on the cover. Cute.
It kind of disappeared after she took the camera and had the film developed. Methinks she wants to play with it herself.
These are 3 of the best shots I took with the fish-eye camera. Actually it's 2. The third one is to ka-jiao Cudas, cuz I know she'll chase after me to have it removed.
They are all unedited (except for resizing and the watermarks).
My favourite piece -
Hiak hiak. She is so going to have my blood for this. But I digress.
So after the present opening session, we had a two-person BBQ at (where else?) Fresh Air Cove. We went for a last minute shopping earlier on and got a mini disposible BBQ set at $5, slicked pork/chicken/beef/ham and had fun.
The food was yummy-ummy-ummy although we had trouble starting the fire with the puny piece of paper wax the box provided, and Lazy had to go borrow some firestarter from the family next to us.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The year of Jacky Cheung world tour 07' which we watched in '08 courtesy of tickets from Lazy's boss -
You know in every concert attended, people tend to do this :
Take pictures of the crowd and the people there. I mean, what's the excitement? It's just people. We already saw them at the Mayday concert. Anyway I'm also doing it, so don't feel bad. Hehe.
We got relatively good tickets, considering they're free, it wasn't as close as we were to MAYDAY!!! but the view was good. There was this dude in blue uniform in front of me the whole time, and his shifty eyes penetrating the entire row of audience where I was sitting. Or was it that he's watched the same concert for so many times that he's not interested anymore?
Lazy eating his $6 hotdog..
Proving that we were there..
Another obligatory picture of the crowd..
... and we're done.
Oh, and a picture of Jacky Cheung himself!
Are you ready?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Are you really?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
TA-DA!!
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Oh he's there somewhere. Near where the arrow is pointing. I think.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CNY at both my grandmama's houses -
As usual we spent reunion dinner night with my paternal side of the family, and Chu Yi (初一) with my maternal side of the family.
Every year it's the same image of us "lao-ing" the yu-sheng, so Imma skip those. However, we have something new this year!
Presenting Kermit the frog on reunion night:
Why it is so important for us to have a Tan junior family photo this year?
...
PREGGOS! Haha. Two of them.
On the left with the oldest Tan junior is June, whom we should call Da-sao (big sister-in-law) because she married the eldest Tan junior, but we call Zhong-sao (middle sister-in-law) instead because the eldest Tan junior had a Zhong in his name.
We like to complicate things.
After having numerous photos taken with numerous parents camera phones, grandmama got waylaid on her way in to take something. Presenting the sweetest, most loving-in-her-special-way, most traditional and reliable and beautiful grandmama of the Tan clan -
She used to dye her hair black in an attempt to stave off the "old", but she absolutely refused to dye it black anymore on account that it is too inconvenient for her, even after numerous requests and pleas to dye it black by (who else) the Tan juniors.
In this next photo, something strange is going to happen. Something is not right. Look closely.
Need a hint?
There are three preggos in this photo.
*Sorry, inside joke of Tan juniors*
Anyways, the next day was spent at my maternal grandmama's house. Once again, she wow-ed us with the delicacies and food. It went along smoothly until some lady wearing a curtain and her family turned up and plopped down on one of the seats and started eating. Eurgh.
The most memorable thing?
Lizard eggs.
In here.
Remind me never to play mahjong at my grandmama's house again.
... Sosincal. Your words mean to me a lot more than you know.
And now, some long awaited photos of Christmas, Jacky Cheung's concert and Reunion Dinner Night for the Tan juniors.
Christmas -
We had company on Christmas eve.
My mahjong kakis, Onn and Benny and their respective girlfriends. It's damn obvious what we were doing right before opening the wine Onn brought, isn't it?
Their defination of a screwed cork.
What the heck.
So we messed around for awhile until Benny's girlfriend had to go home, during which Onn's girlfriend became our temporary kaki until Benny came back.
So the next day was Christmas (obviously), and we spent a quiet evening together. We did present opening at home and then set out for a small little BBQ all by ourselves.
Lazy's gift.
See, it has little hearts in it.
What makes this so special? Because it was so sweet and totally unexpected. We were out shopping together with Cudas the weekend before, and I was swooning over this watch in one of the shops. I didn't even drop any hints.
Anyways, Cudas got me this fisheye camera she got from http://www.lomotion.com/. She's some sort of goddess there and has loads of free points.
Notice the cat on the cover. Cute.
It kind of disappeared after she took the camera and had the film developed. Methinks she wants to play with it herself.
These are 3 of the best shots I took with the fish-eye camera. Actually it's 2. The third one is to ka-jiao Cudas, cuz I know she'll chase after me to have it removed.
They are all unedited (except for resizing and the watermarks).
My favourite piece -
Hiak hiak. She is so going to have my blood for this. But I digress.
So after the present opening session, we had a two-person BBQ at (where else?) Fresh Air Cove. We went for a last minute shopping earlier on and got a mini disposible BBQ set at $5, slicked pork/chicken/beef/ham and had fun.
The food was yummy-ummy-ummy although we had trouble starting the fire with the puny piece of paper wax the box provided, and Lazy had to go borrow some firestarter from the family next to us.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The year of Jacky Cheung world tour 07' which we watched in '08 courtesy of tickets from Lazy's boss -
You know in every concert attended, people tend to do this :
Take pictures of the crowd and the people there. I mean, what's the excitement? It's just people. We already saw them at the Mayday concert. Anyway I'm also doing it, so don't feel bad. Hehe.
We got relatively good tickets, considering they're free, it wasn't as close as we were to MAYDAY!!! but the view was good. There was this dude in blue uniform in front of me the whole time, and his shifty eyes penetrating the entire row of audience where I was sitting. Or was it that he's watched the same concert for so many times that he's not interested anymore?
Lazy eating his $6 hotdog..
Proving that we were there..
Another obligatory picture of the crowd..
... and we're done.
Oh, and a picture of Jacky Cheung himself!
Are you ready?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Are you really?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
TA-DA!!
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Oh he's there somewhere. Near where the arrow is pointing. I think.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CNY at both my grandmama's houses -
As usual we spent reunion dinner night with my paternal side of the family, and Chu Yi (初一) with my maternal side of the family.
Every year it's the same image of us "lao-ing" the yu-sheng, so Imma skip those. However, we have something new this year!
Presenting Kermit the frog on reunion night:
Why it is so important for us to have a Tan junior family photo this year?
...
PREGGOS! Haha. Two of them.
On the left with the oldest Tan junior is June, whom we should call Da-sao (big sister-in-law) because she married the eldest Tan junior, but we call Zhong-sao (middle sister-in-law) instead because the eldest Tan junior had a Zhong in his name.
We like to complicate things.
After having numerous photos taken with numerous parents camera phones, grandmama got waylaid on her way in to take something. Presenting the sweetest, most loving-in-her-special-way, most traditional and reliable and beautiful grandmama of the Tan clan -
She used to dye her hair black in an attempt to stave off the "old", but she absolutely refused to dye it black anymore on account that it is too inconvenient for her, even after numerous requests and pleas to dye it black by (who else) the Tan juniors.
In this next photo, something strange is going to happen. Something is not right. Look closely.
Need a hint?
There are three preggos in this photo.
*Sorry, inside joke of Tan juniors*
Anyways, the next day was spent at my maternal grandmama's house. Once again, she wow-ed us with the delicacies and food. It went along smoothly until some lady wearing a curtain and her family turned up and plopped down on one of the seats and started eating. Eurgh.
The most memorable thing?
Lizard eggs.
In here.
Remind me never to play mahjong at my grandmama's house again.
....
I have been unhappy. For awhile now. Which explains the missing posts. Which is also not an excuse for the missing posts. I'm just lazy. Millions of photos to edit. But I don't want to. So all you're gonna get. Is some defragmentated crap of an excuse. Telling you why I don't post anymore.
I know this is awfully horrid of me, but I look at the starving kids in Ethiopia. The forced marriages of India. And then I don't feel so bad. Hehe.
Hello?
Is anybody still there, I wonder.
I have been unhappy. For awhile now. Which explains the missing posts. Which is also not an excuse for the missing posts. I'm just lazy. Millions of photos to edit. But I don't want to. So all you're gonna get. Is some defragmentated crap of an excuse. Telling you why I don't post anymore.
I know this is awfully horrid of me, but I look at the starving kids in Ethiopia. The forced marriages of India. And then I don't feel so bad. Hehe.
Hello?
Is anybody still there, I wonder.
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