I am just a small and insignificant nobody.

I am just a nobody who doesn't know how to dress up, who doesn't have a fashion sense, who doesn't know the 'in' words to say.

I am just a nobody who's a nobody at all in this world of somebodies.

I am not deserving of all things nice and glamorous, because I am just a nobody who's not.


Susceptible to liars and cheats because she is naive.

Susceptible to depression because she has no confidence in herself.

Susceptible to hiding in a corner because no one is to see her tears.

Susceptible to misery for no good reason at all.

Weirdo.

Bloody insignificant bitch who thinks the world of herself and yet is a nobody at all.

Somebody shoot me please.

Merry Christmas, world! Here's what I did this festive season.

On Christmas eve, my mom ordered pizza and KFC, and a couple of chilli crabs to share around. As like every year's Christmas eve, me, my mom and my sis were all celebrating at home. This year, we had my boyfriend, my sister's boyfriend, my aunt, her boyfriend, and a couple of my friends over. And to tell you the truth, this is the first time we had guests over for Christmas.

I couldn't even begin to tell you why and how, but this is one of the best Christmas I've ever had. I could've gotten pictures, but everyone ducked for cover when I pulled out the camera.

Anyway, back to my usual rantings:

We played mahjong on Christmas eve. I had Daniel Ong from Perfect 10 over



whom we affectionately call Kenny.

Mark Lee was also here, but I couldn't get pictures of him.

They loved my dog, and plotted to eat her. Mark especially loved her "button"



which he pressed and pressed until she got fed up.

We stayed up all night and I lost 19 bucks. Not bad huh, considering the fact that I lost 300 bucks the last time I played.

They left around 5 or 6 in the morning, and I promptly fell asleep.

The next day, we went out to the glass house for a Christmas dinner. Bloody Fish n Co upped their prices so much they might as well go for daylight robbery. But anyways...

Here's a picture of an incredibly sweet babe having some incredibly watery mushroom soup.



And this is what we had for the main course:



They call it the Seafood Fondue. It's not really much different from the seafood platter, but this comes with an incredibly yucky peri-peri (what the hell is that?) sauce that we were supposed to dip the food in. Yuck. Somebody gag me please.

And here's (yet) another picture of the incredibly sweet babe



who had the veiw of the inside of the glass house's first level (the second level was closed) while eating. Here



that's for you poor darlings who've never been there before. I love that place, although it has some memories that I want to erase.

After our daylight robbery meal, we walked all the way to Orchard, where I followed the trend and took a picture of this Christmas tree



while it shook its ass at me. There were so many people and tourists there that I seriously doubt that I could ever get home. Eurgh!

A war happened at my house today.


This guy



challenged this guy



to a one-on-one on my living room ceiling.


They fought long and hard, shed many blood and tears and finally, settled their disputes.

One was tired of living(he must be, he challenged a lizard!), and one was hungry. They both got what they wanted in the end.



(notice the missing spider)

That concludes the first war! Well, the second war between me and my boyfriend is still ongoing, will be back to update on war reports.


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A christmas tree has been set up at my house. As it has been in the possession of my family for more than ten years, this is considered a family tree.





Notice the presents below the tree. The red one is a present for my sister, and the other is for my boyfriend. And since I am the only one bored enough to wrap them up and place them under the tree, those are the only presents there.


Guess what I got for my mom?



It a dvd player from me, my boyfriend, my sister and her boyfriend. No, I'm not kidding.


Well, as I am a very very generous babe, here's a little something for you guys.



Instant Headache!

Dear Bloggie,

We went to the beach on Saturday! It supposed to be a gathering for my old group at 346, but some people seemed to think that sleeping was more important than meeting old friends.

So there were only 8 of us, 2 of which were not even in our old group.

Here’s our group joker Onn and his girlfriend Sarah on our way to Sentosa.



Why is he so happy? Because for some reason of his own, he was happy.

When we reached, Onn immediately began excavation of the island in search of the legendary lost gold of Captain Kidd.



Onn: “I found gold!”



And his security began running around throwing sand at people who came near.

Wilson: “Don’t mess with me! I am armed!”

And then comes mutiny, where the rest of the crew plots to throw Onn into the water.



Onn: “Very itchy dah! Don’t poke me there!”



Tianfu to baby: “No no no, you did it all wrong. You put your fingers together like so…”



“and voila!”



Onn: “That hurt *sniff sniff*”



Tianfu: “That’s what you get for messing with me.”

And all this while Lester was snoozing in a corner when this incredibly beautiful babe went over and took a picture with him.



And that incredible beautiful babe was me, who later on went to take a photo with Wilson.




We went for a little bit of beach volleyball which ended in disaster



because none of us really knew how to play. But nothing really matters to the three musketeers



because.. “All for one and one for all!”

So ends the day! At the bathrooms, this incredibly beautiful babe was the first to come out and doll up for this picture:



The rest of them took such a long time that she found it necessary to take their picture and forever eternalize their faces online



left to right: Tianfu, Gabriel, Lester, Wilson and Baby.
not in this picture: Onn and Sarah (because they went home) and the incredibly sexy babe (me)



Tianfu and Wilson trying to act cool in the subway.

And as I look back at them, I keep thinking: these are the people I love. These are the people who stood by me all these years and didn’t care about what I was, but who I was. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I love you guys who loved me no matter what I did, or what I am. I love you guys who didn’t care that I was a girl and played with me like I was one of you guys. I love you guys who included me in anything and everything. And that doesn’t limit to the guys who went with me to Sentosa, but everyone and anyone who knew me and loved me and accepted me like I was one of your own. THANK YOU!

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

The entry for drivers has been deleted because this blog is purely for entertainment purposes. I am not allowed to divulge information that people can use because this is a crappy blog.

This blog is solely for my crapping purposes. No dice!

*evil webmistress* Beware!




They wrote my name wrongly so I chewed it off.


Well, an interesting thing happened today. Sent my friend off at the bus interchange this morning. While waiting at stop number 39, I saw this awfully cute little rat being mauled to death by a cat.

Why? Because...

----->


---->


--->


-->


->





And the cat was still playing with it even though its guts were showing from its ripped body. *shudder*





*who? me?*

Yes you. Don't act innocent.

The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London.

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.

"Madam, what is the matter?" the hostess asked.


"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please", the hostess replied. Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.

"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class."

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone sooooo disgusting."

She turned to the black guy, and said. "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please take your hand luggage because a seat awaits you in the first class. "

At the moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.


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Oh yea, because this is such a widely spread snippet, here is something else for you people who have read the above:


How Dogs and Men Are the Same


- Both take up too much space on the bed.

- Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

- Both mark their territory.

- Neither tells you what’s bothering them.

- The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

- Both have inordinate fascination with women’s crotches.

- Neither does any dishes.

- Both fart shamelessly.

- Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

- Both like dominance games.

- Both are suspicious of the postman.

- Neither understands what you see in cats.


How Dogs Are Better Than Men


- Dogs do not have problems expressing affections in public.

- Dogs miss you when you are gone.

- Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.

- Dogs admit when they’re jealous.

- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

- Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).

- You can train a dog.

- Dogs are easy to buy for.

- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas (OK, really, the worst is rabies, but there’s a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gave it to you).

- Dogs understand what “no” means.

- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Have taken out stuff about ah yang korkor because this blog is supposed to be ENTERTAINING. They can still be viewed at yet another blog, http://ahyangz.blogspot.com/ , so peeps who knew ah yang korkor can go have a look.


‘neways, this blog is for you, kenny.


Look what I found!





She was running away from a police officer





because she poked a fat lady at the bus stop with her quills. The fat lady scolded her and she poked her again. The fat lady got angry and asked her husband, who is a police officer, to come catch her and sell to karang guni.

He chase chase chase until they reach Africa. Then they saw this horny guy:





And the police guy told the caribou to help him chase my pet. The caribou searched high and low;





And then got tired, so he went to watch some cow porno





My pet was free! She hitchhiked in the pumpkin basket of this dog





And came back to Singapore. She landed at the esplanade, and the first thing she saw was :





Chang and Eng.


*end of story*

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Back to some good old men bashing jokes –


Women:

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart; knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point. Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

Men:

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and fixing shit.


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my buTT!





And finally..

*drumroll*

The most recent pic of the crazy Tans on their kusu island trip!

Currently playing the new cd, 神的孩子都在跳舞, by Mayday a.k.a 五月天.





Got this a couple of days ago at HMV citylink. There was this ang moh in front of me at the line, and he turned to smile at me when I got behind him. Then he turned back to the cashier because she was so desperately trying to get his attention that she was showing all her teeth in an effort to smile as brightly as possible. She looked like she was snarling.

"Here you are sir," she said cheerfully, looking so excited she might pee her pants anytime, "your receipt and purchase. Hope you had a pleasant time!"

And as I moved forward to the counter, she went "bye sir! bye!" and waved so frantically at him that she almost fell over, as though I was invisible. When her attention fell me her smile evaporated and was replaced by a bored look. She picked up my purchase and scanned the barcode, looking so bored that she could just fall asleep.

"Twenty-ninety" she mumbled curtly in a bored voice.

As I made my purchase and was stuffing the change into my wallet, I could've sworn she was whistling and staring her fingers as if she'd like nothing better than to ignore all the customers who were locals.

Patronizing little bitch.

The difference in her attitude was so extreme, it left me so traumatized that I had to be warded for psychiatric breakdown. I kept screaming ANG MO ANG MO ANG MO all the time that my dog had to sit on my head to calm me down.

I'm ok now, except for pouring a bucket of green paint on an ang mo walking past downstairs just now.


When I brought the cd home, I noticed this on the cover





And you know what? I'm going for it.


Anyways, I've just visited the official mayday website, www.imayday.com and it was wayyyyy cool. Go visit it sometime. And in case you’re some hillbilly who doesn’t even know who they are..





And for those of you who don't know what their positions are in the band..






That ah Xin's got a way with using his voice in a very mesmerizing way when he croons to the few ballads in all mayday's albums. Not to mention the fact that I almost cried when I listened to the new edited Wen Rou. *blush*



Sometimes when I have bad hair days, I sigh and think of this verse;
For every bad hair day that I have,
Somebody else has it worse! HAHA!!



"see what see!?"

This entry’s gonna be crappy, cuz’ I really have no more ideas for stories… some help please?

Today’s crappy article:

In the past years, cats were afraid of dogs. Dogs were supposed to chase cats up the tree while the cats in question waited until someone kind rescues them from the tree. But in today’s world, radical changes have been found.


Cats were sighted not only ignoring warning signs, but pulling them down as well.





And due to some pathological fear of cats, dogs were spotted jumping on top of anything nearby in order to escape the menace of the cat




A whole row of police dogs were also sighted cowering in fear when a particularly fearsome cat waddled past.





Cats have also been so bold as to… as to… *ahem* just look at the next picture




This pic says it all.


Dogs, who have been man’s best friend since domestication,





are now being persecuted





Cats are forever freed.





While dogs are carted off to concentration camps





*end of crappy article*



For your information, I do not like cats more than dogs. I like all animals the same, well, maybe I favor wolves, but I treat them with probably more respect than I have for humans *sticks tongue out* because they have every right to exist as us.


*animal lover*


Anyways, this is how I felt today





Because I saw the girlfriend





Of this bloody lucky bastard





They must be having fun every night. I mean, all he has to do is just to lie between two poles!