You really are..
... the biggest waste of my time and breath.
Really.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Open Your Eyes
... and say goodbye
Seeing things from a different perspective, makes me feel even cheaper than I did the last time he gave me his "last chance".
I really don't know what to say or do or behave anymore. The only thing I know is to run, and shun, and hide.
I'm dying more and more every day, and nobody can see it.
... and say goodbye
Seeing things from a different perspective, makes me feel even cheaper than I did the last time he gave me his "last chance".
I really don't know what to say or do or behave anymore. The only thing I know is to run, and shun, and hide.
I'm dying more and more every day, and nobody can see it.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
The Eye Of A Storm
Did you know that the eye of a storm is always the calmest?
It may appear calm, but it is in fact raging and destroying all around.
My depression is worsening day by day. It's affecting my performance at work. I felt like crying all of a sudden for no good reason at all.
And I have no one who understands except my blog. The people I need the most are not understanding, and are blaming me for it.
When my walls have been torn down, and my feelings dissected bit by bit, the only instinct I have left is to run away from everything.
I hate you all, I need time alone, and get away from me.
Did you know that the eye of a storm is always the calmest?
It may appear calm, but it is in fact raging and destroying all around.
My depression is worsening day by day. It's affecting my performance at work. I felt like crying all of a sudden for no good reason at all.
And I have no one who understands except my blog. The people I need the most are not understanding, and are blaming me for it.
When my walls have been torn down, and my feelings dissected bit by bit, the only instinct I have left is to run away from everything.
I hate you all, I need time alone, and get away from me.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Shoutout
To the dude with his family in his car who rolled down his passenger side's window and called out my name when I stopped beside him at the traffic light, SORRY!
Who are you, by the way? You look like one of my old 346 basketball friends, but with whiskers on your chin and tanner and more toned hands.
Otherwise, given the dense traffic and the 3 seconds I saw your face, I really couldn't make out who you were.
Give me a hollar on MSN, SMS, here, whatever ok? Or you could roll down your window and give me more time to look at you next time instead of calling out to me 3 seconds before the traffic light changes.
To the dude with his family in his car who rolled down his passenger side's window and called out my name when I stopped beside him at the traffic light, SORRY!
Who are you, by the way? You look like one of my old 346 basketball friends, but with whiskers on your chin and tanner and more toned hands.
Otherwise, given the dense traffic and the 3 seconds I saw your face, I really couldn't make out who you were.
Give me a hollar on MSN, SMS, here, whatever ok? Or you could roll down your window and give me more time to look at you next time instead of calling out to me 3 seconds before the traffic light changes.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
More Work Related Updates
... on how much I still love my job.
We're going to many different launches in a week, keeping up with our targets and deadlines, meetings here and there and everywhere, and the thing that drives me crazy is that the hours are too short. There are never enough hours in a day to finish what you have on hand.
This was taken during the Cisco launch when me and Eric went out to buy dinner for the rest of the team.
Because we were there for the whole day for two launches, and we're usually very, VERY tired after the first launch, here is evidence of snake eating!
No, it's actually just an excuse to make fun of Eric.
HA!
He got back at me by playing a prank on me yesterday.
I was attending a launch at Shenton Way yesterday, and when I came back to office I found these:
The ultimate sign that your colleagues love you.
Note: ALL the post it notes weren't mine. They were in all kinds of different different handwriting, so you know it wasn't only from one person.
They're very evil people, with lots of conspirators who won't tell me who exactly started the fiasco. Must've had fun in the office with my table.
Another colleague of mine, Naz, was having a bad day and came over to chat for awhile. We ended up laughing hysterically all the way, with Vanee not catching any balls right beside us.
This is fat bird, and retarded bird.
They love each other. A lot.
Anyways, I've just been given 4 thick stacks to study through, with the exams on 2nd Oct and 5th Oct. I am so going to die.
... on how much I still love my job.
We're going to many different launches in a week, keeping up with our targets and deadlines, meetings here and there and everywhere, and the thing that drives me crazy is that the hours are too short. There are never enough hours in a day to finish what you have on hand.
This was taken during the Cisco launch when me and Eric went out to buy dinner for the rest of the team.
Because we were there for the whole day for two launches, and we're usually very, VERY tired after the first launch, here is evidence of snake eating!
No, it's actually just an excuse to make fun of Eric.
HA!
He got back at me by playing a prank on me yesterday.
I was attending a launch at Shenton Way yesterday, and when I came back to office I found these:
The ultimate sign that your colleagues love you.
Note: ALL the post it notes weren't mine. They were in all kinds of different different handwriting, so you know it wasn't only from one person.
They're very evil people, with lots of conspirators who won't tell me who exactly started the fiasco. Must've had fun in the office with my table.
Another colleague of mine, Naz, was having a bad day and came over to chat for awhile. We ended up laughing hysterically all the way, with Vanee not catching any balls right beside us.
This is fat bird, and retarded bird.
They love each other. A lot.
Anyways, I've just been given 4 thick stacks to study through, with the exams on 2nd Oct and 5th Oct. I am so going to die.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
So Hard
I tried so hard and yet people keep letting me down.
Is it so hard to find a good friend?
Forget it. I'm giving up.
My colleagues are all I have now, they're the only ones who are close and who actually make the effort to not let me down (other than my family).
Forget the cruel word that is friendship. If you don't even make the effort, then neither am I going to.
So there.
I tried so hard and yet people keep letting me down.
Is it so hard to find a good friend?
Forget it. I'm giving up.
My colleagues are all I have now, they're the only ones who are close and who actually make the effort to not let me down (other than my family).
Forget the cruel word that is friendship. If you don't even make the effort, then neither am I going to.
So there.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
It's Tuesday!
I don't think there's anyone in the world who loves Mondays and going back to work as I do right now. I think I'm going to savor this for now before the novelty wears off and I get tired of it.
Anyways, you all already know how much I love my work and I don't think I need to elaborate more, but I really think that I have like, the best job in the world. My department head, Grace, is an AWESOME woman. She has no airs whatsoever, as do my nice regional manager, Mack. She cares for us a lot, yet is not so lenient when it comes to numbers and targets. I think that's a good thing too, because a lot of people tend to take advantage of that kind of kindness.
My assistant head, Kenneth, is a funny and spontaneous guy who has no issues with sharing smokes and jokes with us. He can take a lot of jokes, but only to a certain extend because he has take into consideration the other people who might get offended.
The rest of my department, like William, Joseph, Kelvin, May, Verlois, Germaine, Reaves, Glen, Agnes, Naz, Vanee, Meng, Eric and pretty much everyone at the infamously loud (noisy) worksite room are all very nice and friendly people.
You can see the very big difference when you walk past the telemarketing department or the direct marketing department to get to our hidden little room. Their cubicles and tables are spartan save for a little bit of pictures, their office is immaculate and they are very, very quiet. When you set foot into our worksite room, however, the bright yellow decor hits you and sends your mood shooting straight up. Then you meet the monkeys here (no wait, did I say monkeys? I means people) in formal office wear who talks and jokes and laughes and plays, it really brightens up your day. The tables are anything but spartan, what with all the toys and pictures and whatnots. The whole room is full of activities signifying a busy day, yet the element of fun is always there.
We're a bright bunch. Hehe.
I've never seen myself so formal before, and this is one of my normal suits. I have this other one that costed me near to 200 big bucks, which has a thin belt that goes pretty well with the suit, and collars that can be worn up or down. I love it.
The targets we have to hit are driving me a little crazy, but I'm still enjoying my work.
Signing off,
Jasmine Tan
Assistant Manager, Employee Solutions
Accident & Health Division
ACE Insurance Limited
6398 8771 DID
jasmine.tan@ace-ina.com
www.aceinsurance.com.sg
Preferred ACE Transportable (PAT) Programme
- You're worth more than just a simple pat!
Warning: If any of you gets cheeky and sends rubbish to my office email, or call me at odd hours on my office phone, I will kill you and rip your balls out.
I don't think there's anyone in the world who loves Mondays and going back to work as I do right now. I think I'm going to savor this for now before the novelty wears off and I get tired of it.
Anyways, you all already know how much I love my work and I don't think I need to elaborate more, but I really think that I have like, the best job in the world. My department head, Grace, is an AWESOME woman. She has no airs whatsoever, as do my nice regional manager, Mack. She cares for us a lot, yet is not so lenient when it comes to numbers and targets. I think that's a good thing too, because a lot of people tend to take advantage of that kind of kindness.
My assistant head, Kenneth, is a funny and spontaneous guy who has no issues with sharing smokes and jokes with us. He can take a lot of jokes, but only to a certain extend because he has take into consideration the other people who might get offended.
The rest of my department, like William, Joseph, Kelvin, May, Verlois, Germaine, Reaves, Glen, Agnes, Naz, Vanee, Meng, Eric and pretty much everyone at the infamously loud (noisy) worksite room are all very nice and friendly people.
You can see the very big difference when you walk past the telemarketing department or the direct marketing department to get to our hidden little room. Their cubicles and tables are spartan save for a little bit of pictures, their office is immaculate and they are very, very quiet. When you set foot into our worksite room, however, the bright yellow decor hits you and sends your mood shooting straight up. Then you meet the monkeys here (no wait, did I say monkeys? I means people) in formal office wear who talks and jokes and laughes and plays, it really brightens up your day. The tables are anything but spartan, what with all the toys and pictures and whatnots. The whole room is full of activities signifying a busy day, yet the element of fun is always there.
We're a bright bunch. Hehe.
I've never seen myself so formal before, and this is one of my normal suits. I have this other one that costed me near to 200 big bucks, which has a thin belt that goes pretty well with the suit, and collars that can be worn up or down. I love it.
The targets we have to hit are driving me a little crazy, but I'm still enjoying my work.
Signing off,
Jasmine Tan
Assistant Manager, Employee Solutions
Accident & Health Division
ACE Insurance Limited
6398 8771 DID
jasmine.tan@ace-ina.com
www.aceinsurance.com.sg
Preferred ACE Transportable (PAT) Programme
- You're worth more than just a simple pat!
Warning: If any of you gets cheeky and sends rubbish to my office email, or call me at odd hours on my office phone, I will kill you and rip your balls out.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Random Pictoblog September
I have a little bit of free time right now, before I head for class, so let me just clear out my "pictures for blog" folder a bit.
Since my last update, I have...
- Taken public transport for the first time in a long time to my new office to sign my contract
And as many know, public transport is my least favourite way to travel.
It was 4pm in the afternoon and for some reason, there were many people running around during that hour.
I took the train from Bugis, started to get nauseous at Toa Payoh area, then alighted at Ang Mo Kio when the PA system announced that we were to ALL clear out of the train because it was going to some god forsaken place that we weren't allowed in.
So instead of waiting for the next train to arrive and squeezing in with all the snoring commuters who don't care when their drool reaches their knee, I took a cab home instead.
Even so it was quite scary, because the driver was rushing to change shift or something, so I ended up being very tensed throughout the ride.
Not very enjoyable.
- Played more mahjong than ever on weekends
Mahjong. "Nuff said.
Almost there!
- Caught a couple more soft toys, all from the new arcade at Bishan Junction 8
This is bunny and bunny, they're quite small but pretty darn cute. Caught in under $5.
This is big Stitch, caught in under $10.
And this is Lazy, who likes to squeeze in a couple of games before we went for our movie, Evan Almighty, and
... this is big Stitch with small Stitch, which was caught in under $5 after Lazy's finished driving around on the same spot in front of a big screen.
While we're on the subject of movies, Ratatouille is a GREAT movie.I loved it. A lot.
It encompasses everything I loved about Paris. The food (I'm a HUGE food junkie*), the snobby people, the scary food critiques, the view of the Eiffel Tower, the rustic streets so romantic, even when beside a huge drain. The only thing they missed was the lingerie shopping, but I don't think it'd be nice to include that in a G rated show.
* There's a difference between a foodie, and a food junkie. A foodie loves good food. A food junkie such as I, will actually start having withdrawal symptoms when I go long enough without gourmet delicacies.
While we're on the subject of food, these,
.. are flower crabs. They're an incredibly noisy bunch, clicking and clicking away in the basin while mom cooks their comrades.
Hiak hiak. I feel so evil.
Anyways, here's to prove to my little Yi Yi that I DID write a letter to him, I just don't know how much postage I should stick on to the envelope for it to reach California.
- Miscellenous pictures
The very antique computer that BMC uses to teach practical computing in their Pte Secretary module.
And this is Rod Montero from some radio station -
Taken in some bar when I was working with Tuborg. Some girl got up on the podium with him and tore his shirt off. Here's him half-naked.
And Onnions! Invitation! I am not much of a drinker but I have these,
.. hiding in my cupboard, a couple of wines lying around and some beer in the fridge. Open anytime you need me, bro.
I have a little bit of free time right now, before I head for class, so let me just clear out my "pictures for blog" folder a bit.
Since my last update, I have...
- Taken public transport for the first time in a long time to my new office to sign my contract
And as many know, public transport is my least favourite way to travel.
It was 4pm in the afternoon and for some reason, there were many people running around during that hour.
I took the train from Bugis, started to get nauseous at Toa Payoh area, then alighted at Ang Mo Kio when the PA system announced that we were to ALL clear out of the train because it was going to some god forsaken place that we weren't allowed in.
So instead of waiting for the next train to arrive and squeezing in with all the snoring commuters who don't care when their drool reaches their knee, I took a cab home instead.
Even so it was quite scary, because the driver was rushing to change shift or something, so I ended up being very tensed throughout the ride.
Not very enjoyable.
- Played more mahjong than ever on weekends
Mahjong. "Nuff said.
Almost there!
- Caught a couple more soft toys, all from the new arcade at Bishan Junction 8
This is bunny and bunny, they're quite small but pretty darn cute. Caught in under $5.
This is big Stitch, caught in under $10.
And this is Lazy, who likes to squeeze in a couple of games before we went for our movie, Evan Almighty, and
... this is big Stitch with small Stitch, which was caught in under $5 after Lazy's finished driving around on the same spot in front of a big screen.
While we're on the subject of movies, Ratatouille is a GREAT movie.I loved it. A lot.
It encompasses everything I loved about Paris. The food (I'm a HUGE food junkie*), the snobby people, the scary food critiques, the view of the Eiffel Tower, the rustic streets so romantic, even when beside a huge drain. The only thing they missed was the lingerie shopping, but I don't think it'd be nice to include that in a G rated show.
* There's a difference between a foodie, and a food junkie. A foodie loves good food. A food junkie such as I, will actually start having withdrawal symptoms when I go long enough without gourmet delicacies.
While we're on the subject of food, these,
.. are flower crabs. They're an incredibly noisy bunch, clicking and clicking away in the basin while mom cooks their comrades.
Hiak hiak. I feel so evil.
Anyways, here's to prove to my little Yi Yi that I DID write a letter to him, I just don't know how much postage I should stick on to the envelope for it to reach California.
- Miscellenous pictures
The very antique computer that BMC uses to teach practical computing in their Pte Secretary module.
And this is Rod Montero from some radio station -
Taken in some bar when I was working with Tuborg. Some girl got up on the podium with him and tore his shirt off. Here's him half-naked.
And Onnions! Invitation! I am not much of a drinker but I have these,
.. hiding in my cupboard, a couple of wines lying around and some beer in the fridge. Open anytime you need me, bro.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Good Things Come In Pairs
Random squawk: What I'm about to post required me to go through two wedding albums in search of the perfect photos. And now I'm more depressed than ever. Will the overhanging shadow ever go away? Or will it become a painful scar for the rest of my life?
I have not one, but two great news!
When the loving couples,
Leeling Jie Jie/Jonathan Jie Fu, and
Zhizhong Kor Kor/June Da Sao got married, we all pestered them to have kids but both couples rejected the idea because they felt it was too soon.
Well, later rather than never right? Actually it's not much later but it's pretty darn late for the rest of us who have been waiting.
Both Leeling Jie Jie and June Da Sao are preggos! Yeah~!
Mom called me during work but I was at a launch so I didn't pick up. She then messaged me and when I saw the message, I was overjoyed.
Then again, it elevates me up from jiejie status to auntie status. Darn. Maybe I should bribe them into calling me jiejie instead of auntie.
I couldn't wait to get home to share the awesome news with the rest of the world. Spread the word, I'm going to be an auntie!
I just think they're the sweetest. I wonder who's the next one in the family.
Random squawk: What I'm about to post required me to go through two wedding albums in search of the perfect photos. And now I'm more depressed than ever. Will the overhanging shadow ever go away? Or will it become a painful scar for the rest of my life?
I have not one, but two great news!
When the loving couples,
Leeling Jie Jie/Jonathan Jie Fu, and
Zhizhong Kor Kor/June Da Sao got married, we all pestered them to have kids but both couples rejected the idea because they felt it was too soon.
Well, later rather than never right? Actually it's not much later but it's pretty darn late for the rest of us who have been waiting.
Both Leeling Jie Jie and June Da Sao are preggos! Yeah~!
Mom called me during work but I was at a launch so I didn't pick up. She then messaged me and when I saw the message, I was overjoyed.
Then again, it elevates me up from jiejie status to auntie status. Darn. Maybe I should bribe them into calling me jiejie instead of auntie.
I couldn't wait to get home to share the awesome news with the rest of the world. Spread the word, I'm going to be an auntie!
I just think they're the sweetest. I wonder who's the next one in the family.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Update
I want to make an update, but I'm too darn lazy.
I. Love. My. New. Job... And my new colleagues. Heh.
There's actually a lot more to say but like I said, I'm lazy. You guys will just have to wait til I'm not so smoked out balancing the new job and studies.
Was just letting my brain wander around for awhile when I got back just now. There're quite a fair bit of dark and murky things hiding in there.
Anyways, what's the difference between a murder and a homicide?
And for the newer readers, do you think it would be good to add another category at the side below my information, listing links to specially created pages explaining the who and the when and the how of everything and everybody I keep gushing about in my life?
Like, if I were to say the name "Cash" now, which image would it immediately conjure? Newer readers would think green. Older readers would remember that Cash is actually my pet African Grey who never shuts up.
What do you think?
I want to make an update, but I'm too darn lazy.
I. Love. My. New. Job... And my new colleagues. Heh.
There's actually a lot more to say but like I said, I'm lazy. You guys will just have to wait til I'm not so smoked out balancing the new job and studies.
Was just letting my brain wander around for awhile when I got back just now. There're quite a fair bit of dark and murky things hiding in there.
Anyways, what's the difference between a murder and a homicide?
And for the newer readers, do you think it would be good to add another category at the side below my information, listing links to specially created pages explaining the who and the when and the how of everything and everybody I keep gushing about in my life?
Like, if I were to say the name "Cash" now, which image would it immediately conjure? Newer readers would think green. Older readers would remember that Cash is actually my pet African Grey who never shuts up.
What do you think?
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Love of a Lifetime
Typing this took a lot of courage.
This post is to force myself to cry.
Once in everyone's lifetime, someone up there, wayyy up there, chooses the perfect light for you, pushes you together, adds a bit of chemistry and then leaves the rest up to you.
You can either choose to treasure this light, this love of a lifetime, or take it for granted, or forsake it. But you won't know when it's here. Right beside you. That light might be that person who smiled at you downstairs. Might be in the next cubicle over at work. Might be that annoying person in the group whom you've always disliked. It might come in a thousand and one packages, but it is essentially the same. That light was meant to be yours. That love was meant to be yours.
It was written down on the ancient books of destiny that you two were to meet. It was never written that you two would never part. And the destinies like to play cruel jokes; it writes the coming in the most uncommon of ways, never telling you directly when this light is destined to meet you. And this special light will only come to pass once in a lifetime. If you didn't treasure it, if you caused the light to diminish, the destinies will not send you another one.
This is why most people feel that the one you marry may never be the one you want the most.
Is it because they missed the one they were destined for? They let that light diminish long ago? Or is it that they haven't met their light yet? Nobody knows. That, perhaps, is the cruelest joke of all.
The love of a lifetime can only happen once.
Not many people know how to appreciate how special their love is, it is not easy to find people who can confidently tell you that this is his/her light. That their destinies were intertwined and should their paths not have crossed, they'd spend a lifetime looking for each other.
You can only have one great love, in one lifetime.
Are you sure you're with the love of your lifetime? Or are you just taking away someone else's chance to find their love of a lifetime?
I saw a light diminish today.
And painfully, it happened to a person who knew that this was his love of a lifetime.
It could be the end, it could be the beginning. We all don't know yet. The signs are there but but the candlewick just won't light.
Have patience. She will come back to you.
Typing this took a lot of courage.
This post is to force myself to cry.
Once in everyone's lifetime, someone up there, wayyy up there, chooses the perfect light for you, pushes you together, adds a bit of chemistry and then leaves the rest up to you.
You can either choose to treasure this light, this love of a lifetime, or take it for granted, or forsake it. But you won't know when it's here. Right beside you. That light might be that person who smiled at you downstairs. Might be in the next cubicle over at work. Might be that annoying person in the group whom you've always disliked. It might come in a thousand and one packages, but it is essentially the same. That light was meant to be yours. That love was meant to be yours.
It was written down on the ancient books of destiny that you two were to meet. It was never written that you two would never part. And the destinies like to play cruel jokes; it writes the coming in the most uncommon of ways, never telling you directly when this light is destined to meet you. And this special light will only come to pass once in a lifetime. If you didn't treasure it, if you caused the light to diminish, the destinies will not send you another one.
This is why most people feel that the one you marry may never be the one you want the most.
Is it because they missed the one they were destined for? They let that light diminish long ago? Or is it that they haven't met their light yet? Nobody knows. That, perhaps, is the cruelest joke of all.
The love of a lifetime can only happen once.
Not many people know how to appreciate how special their love is, it is not easy to find people who can confidently tell you that this is his/her light. That their destinies were intertwined and should their paths not have crossed, they'd spend a lifetime looking for each other.
You can only have one great love, in one lifetime.
Are you sure you're with the love of your lifetime? Or are you just taking away someone else's chance to find their love of a lifetime?
I saw a light diminish today.
And painfully, it happened to a person who knew that this was his love of a lifetime.
It could be the end, it could be the beginning. We all don't know yet. The signs are there but but the candlewick just won't light.
Have patience. She will come back to you.
Monday, September 03, 2007
The Great Onnion Plea
Hi guys. It's me. I don't usually ask people for favors, but I need your help on this one.
Onnion, one of the longest friend I have who's still around constantly, is one of the rare few who's not related to me that I actually give a whole lot of shit about.
He is also one of the very, very rare few (actually, this can be considered the first case) whom, when he's hurting, I wish that I am the one hurting instead of him. It kills me to see him like this right now.
I don't wish to divulge his private affairs, but he's a good and sweet guy. His intentions were never to hurt anybody.
So please do me a big favor. Something big is going to happen tomorrow, and I really, really wish the results are going to be positive. So people, pray for him, well wishes for him, and help me hope for him that things will be better from tomorrow onwards.
I believe that if we all wish hard enough, dreams will become reality, right?
Let's wish hard.
Hi guys. It's me. I don't usually ask people for favors, but I need your help on this one.
Onnion, one of the longest friend I have who's still around constantly, is one of the rare few who's not related to me that I actually give a whole lot of shit about.
He is also one of the very, very rare few (actually, this can be considered the first case) whom, when he's hurting, I wish that I am the one hurting instead of him. It kills me to see him like this right now.
I don't wish to divulge his private affairs, but he's a good and sweet guy. His intentions were never to hurt anybody.
So please do me a big favor. Something big is going to happen tomorrow, and I really, really wish the results are going to be positive. So people, pray for him, well wishes for him, and help me hope for him that things will be better from tomorrow onwards.
I believe that if we all wish hard enough, dreams will become reality, right?
Let's wish hard.
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