Back from the Reunion dinner


Thoughts: If things were turned around, if my friends invited me but explicitly state that they don't want you around, I'd rather not go. I won't go and pretend you don't exist.


It was a BLAST!

Right from getting there, running to and fro from my grandma's to my godmum's and back again, to setting up the tables, chit-chatting, eating, and watching tv in my grandpa's room.

Ah Qiang lending a hand preparing for the feast.



Shirong lends a hand too.



This is the Yu Sheng.

Before:



During:



And after:



This would be yours truly walking around with my chopsticks camwhoring after eating the Yu Sheng.


My sister.


Shirong.


Ah Yong.


Ah Qiang.

By then I've lost my chopsticks, so I was just plain camwhoring with anybody who cared to camwhore with me.


He says I look older than him. What do you think?

A mess of pictures.









The feast begins!





After which we retreated into our grandpa's room to watch TV. Zhizhong says we should do a group photo like last year, so we did.


A room full of Tans!

After the entire thing, we all got home and began mass emailing each other about the photos. Ah yong saw the photos I edited last year and took the initiative this year to make his own edition and sent it out via mass email.

Here's his edition:



And from him, I got inspired to do a whore series of photo editing.






Do you find anything wrong with this photo?

It is..


...the last day of the lunar calendar and I am WORKING.

Damn you corporate world! Damn all you drivers who choose to service your cars at the last minute!

My Lazychoo is sleeping at home on my bed right at this moment, probably in the most comfortable position possible. And later on, at one or hopefully at twelve, I will ride over to Bishan and do some last minute shopping (which I know is going to be a mistake) and perhaps get some lunch for Lazychoo.

Lazychoo been so sweet these few days. I kind of get the feeling of the girl in the starhub commercial where her husband suddenly becomes very nice and does things for her instead of watch TV. Like something's amiss. But it's just little old me, thinking too much.

Anyway, reunion dinner's gonna be a blast, as always. Watch out for photos of the little monster with feelers after tonight!

Love is a two-sided thing


Just a little snippet of a comic that arrived in my email inbox to share with you guys.

Sorry this is only available in Chinese. You others who want a translation, ask me for it.



















































































Isn't this sweet?

I lub my Lazychoo.

Post-Valentine's Day Post


I wasn't expecting anything at all. Heck, I even expected him to totally ignore the thing and that we won't talk nor see each other last night.

But guess what?

Lazychoo pulled through!



I was just sitting right at this table foruming in http://www.wholivesnearyou.com and blasting my new Mayday CD away when I heard noises behind me.

When I turned around, there Lazychoo was, holding a bouquet of flowers. It's a very special thing coming from him because he once said he doesn't buy flowers anymore because of a bad experience. It was also special considering what happened yesterday.



After fussing over the flowers for awhile I went on a whirlwind of preparation to go out. Lazychoo took me to the airport, where at the carpark he said "Only smart people will choose the airport, because everywhere else had long queues."

Turns out there were a lot of smart people, because every single restaurant had hour-long waiting time. We at last settled for Pasta Fresca da Salvatore, from which we ordered too much, and had to pack up the appetizers for Samuel and the rest when we met them for their BBQ later on.

When asking for the bill, a waitress appeared with a basket in her hand and handed me a rose "for Valentine's Day."


Lazychoo's idea to put it there.

The rose and the package got a little crumpled from the ride home, but I guess it's ok. This Valentine's Day wasn't about the money, although Lazychoo spent near to a hundred. It was about love. I love my Lazychoo.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

Under the impression


That you've thrown them away, for a year.

Turns out you didn't.

I feel so lied to and cheated.

Why is she still here
When I am in your room?
Her presence fills every corner
Her clothes
Her bags
Her shoes
Her makeup
All left as they were the day she was gone.
Have I not taken up the emptiness that she left behind?
You said it was because of laziness
I did not pursue
But how lazy can one get to hurt the one he loves?
Excuses
Excuses
I don't want no excuses
It hurts deeply every time I step into your room
Every single time
It cuts like a blade deep into my already bleeding heart
Hast thou no conscience?

I was wrong to say it's over. It's not.

You're not lazy. You just don't want to throw them away.

Valentine's Day


Expected it already, more or less.

Happy Valentine's Day to all you people.

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I want to work, work, work and never go home today.

Anyone with banquet deals tonight?

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Chocoman Seng's in hospital.



Poor Seng has to spend V-day alone in hospital because his lungs got infected when he was training in Taiwan.

Since the last time I saw him, he's got skinnier and tanner, otherwise completely the same.

He's an active guy involved in all sports, which means he's very fit and strong. But when I saw him in hospital the other day, my heart went out to him.

There was a tube connecting straight into his lung to drain out exccess blood. There was a needle stuck into him for all injections. There was a wound on his chest under his right arm. His face was pale and gaunt, his movements were slow and careful.

When he reached back to pick up a tin of biscuits for another friend, I could really feel the pain for him. He picked up the tin slowly and precisely, but was unable to take out the sticky tape around the rim of the tin.

Poor thing. He's discharging tonight. Let's all hope he gets better soon.

Jia you, Seng!

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For the group.

For those of you who don't like me, I don't give a fly.

For those of you who don't mind me, please continue.

I know there are none who likes me. But it doesn't matter.

For Lazychoo, I will try. However, I don't think you guys will see me much anyway, because for Lazychoo I will also get back my old friends whom I "let go willingly myself".

Dear old friends. Let's continue whatever we had. Weekends. Weekday dinners. Special occasions. Let's meet up again.

He asked me to marry him


... but strangely enough it wasn't Lazychoo.

Oh well.

The Scoop


For the ever-judgemental you: I guess I don't mind explaining myself now.


There was a major argument between Lazychoo and I the other day.

Because of someone else who wasn't involved in this relationship.

For the benefit of those who are not in the know, here's an account standing in my shoes.

For those of you who are not close to me: When I was 12, my mom uncovered a terrible secret of my dad's. I'm not going to beat around the bushes but just to put this straight - he had been dating his ex-girlfriend (the one before my mom) for 4 years with all of us not in the know. Therefore beginning a devastating 5 years following the confrontation between my mom and my dad's girlfriend.

A series of distressing events followed suit. Loansharks. Mom selling everything she could to pay off debts. Mom's money magically appearing in dad's girlfriend's account. Dad turning his back on us. Seperation. Everyone in the family became slightly mentally unstable.

Only those of you who saw me through those years can ever understand what my family went through.

This is why I am paranoid of ex-girlfriends.

A lot of depressing posts previously in my blog originated from Lazychoo's past. Don't believe me? Read back then.

Now tell me this: If you were already having enough problems with someone you're in a relationship with, and some other guy came and inserted himself and made conclusive comments from judging you all the way throughout the relationship, how would you feel?

Tell me, if, and I say only IF, one of my friends were to make a comment about you, the way you depress everyone with your sick-of-life attitude, the way you always disappoint and the way you take a relationship for granted, based on their impressions of you during those brief meetings, SMS-ing me these judgemental comments leaving you no chance to explain, how would you feel towards them?

A friend of his, Mr KP, somehow got hold of my blog address and read a previous post of mine regarding the past, and SMS-ed Lazychoo telling him to tell me about Mr KP's opinion on my feelings, without asking why I felt the way I did.

After getting to know about the SMS, I flared up. And blogged. Therefore developing an issue with Mr KP, who religiously reads my blog.

Lazychoo was not supposed to be involved, as with all my other arguments and debates with our other friends. Lazychoo stood aside when people ganged up in the forums and called me "worse than a beast". Lazychoo stood aside when I was blamed for someone else's breakup in which the girl left my friend because he didn't have enough money.

I expected this to be no different. Lazychoo should have stood aside, like he always has.

Somehow, Lazychoo involved himself. He also involved the rest of the group.

The issue started between Mr KP and me, and it was to be kept between Mr KP and me, but somehow..

Obviously, according to Lazychoo, the entire group sees this as my fault. Why not? Mr KP was their friend, not me. I was never a part of that group, both by default and by choice.

The issue blew out of proportions. Mr KP once said "I pity the one in the middle". Mr KP, there was no one in the middle until you put him there.

Mr KP also said, "Lets all behave like an responsible adult now and appreciate the beauty of mutual respect". Shortly after, terminating the friendship with Lazychoo because Lazychoo did not do as he wished.

Mr KP, being an avid reader of my blog (not because it's entertaining, obviously), read all my posts regarding the issue. And nagged at Lazychoo to read them.

For the first time in my life I was forced to remove posts that offended the almighty Mr KP. For the first time in my life I felt so desolated, because my blog was my fortress, and the successful forcing of posts removal was a kind of a victory over a broken fortress that I once claimed unbreakable. For the first time in my life I felt so frozen, because my beliefs were broken by the man who set my beliefs in the first place. He once said that a couple should stick together, no matter what, and I believed in him.

It was disappointing to know that he could doubt me so much and not stand on my grounds to take a look at the issue. I did not ask him to take sides. I did not want him involved. It was very, very disappointing to have him make me remove my posts because he was ashamed.

Are you ashamed of my words, or me? Will you be so ashamed after reading this post that you'd tell me to remove it again?

If he did not get involved he would not have said things that killed me a little inside each time I think about it. If he did not get involved he would not have lost a "best friend" and I would not be so "fucking happy". If he did not get involved things would still go as I planned.

My plan was to get a friend to go out with every Friday, which was when he usually meets his friends, so that we would never see each other again, Mr KP and I. Why? Because I could not bring myself to forbid him from seeing Mr KP again. Knowing that when they meet he'd exercise his influence over Lazychoo again drove me crazy. I needed friends to take my mind off what might be discussed in my absence.

Weekends I had to keep free, because we once agreed that weekends were pak-tor days. It was a little disappointing that recently he seems to have forgotten all about it and packed weekends with meeting his friends.

Just as disappointing to know he forgot all about our planning for the trip to Tioman this April.

But never mind.

Now there's a distance between us and a hole that can never be mended. Didn't we once agree to not let anyone come between us?

Why, why do I blog? Because there's no one else to talk to. There was no one else to talk to when you wouldn't listen. Blogging was my form of release. But now blogging has become the main source of trouble in your eyes. Maybe if you stopped pointing your finger at me and my blog, you could look around you more clearly?

You don't even try.

I am not afraid and I am not ashamed of opening myself to the public because I have done nothing wrong. What are you afraid/ashamed of?

Whoosh!


Dinner with the charming Rio last night.

Crazy chaotic working enviroment today.

Think "one man show". Except that it's "one woman show". Everything included except the hands on servicing itself, of course.

Hectic, but I'm lovin' it!

Just to clear the air


Just to clear the air.

I do what I do because it feels right to me.

I offend people because I intend to. Whatever words you find offensive, I probably already know, so you don't have to warn me to be careful with my words.

If you find my words offensive, I probably meant it to be, so don't be so hard on yourself.

I probably already know the consequences and have already planned out what I need to do when I key in those words. So if nobody intercepts on anyone's behalf, things wouldn't go awry the way it did.

If you've noticed, and if you were one of the lucky ones who caught three of my previous posts, you'd remember I did not put any names either.

Nobody can ever understand me. Not even you.

So I'm not even bothering to even explain.

You don't understand.

Hi.


It's me.

Problems. Problems with work and boyfriend. Again.

Sian ah!


This is by far the most sian post I have ever posted. I need another part-time job at night. Anyone knows of anywhere hiring? Mon-Fri, from 7pm onwards only.

Anyone?

I'm Being Oppressed


Ssshhhh!

Remember two years ago when I said that nobody can ever oppress me into removing any of my thoughts off my own blog?

Well, this time, the powers have won.

Watch the breaking down of the once unbreakable fortress.

Yay.