Jamaican Accidents

Full Stop


Full stop's been there a long time ago.

As with any debate I have with people on the forums, Lazychoo is not involved in this. Only the most selfish of people would bring in the people around them.

Pointless.

*shrugs*

Warning


To those who don't stand in our shoes, who treats his friends like usables and make use of them,

To those who add on problems to other people's problems,

To those who don't know shit,


Don't say shit.


What happens when you pair up an arrogant, pushy, self-absorbant and overassuming boy and another super low self-esteem boy?

Ok Fine


The two killer words that prematurely ends a talk originally initiated to solve problems.

You said you would understand. But you didn't.

I lost the only person who could ever understand.

To those who are not in this relationship: Stay out of it. You wouldn't like it if I told your girlfriend how to handle you, would you? We already have enough problems on our own, thank you very much.

I don't tell the whole world about the things that I do, but that doesn't mean I don't do them. It's just that, you've been facing their side so much that you don't see the things I do. You don't feel the things I've experienced. You don't... understand.

I don't cry, but that doesn't mean I don't hurt.

I had a talk last night. Seems my blog is being monitered by "the powers that be". He was called up, which initiated a lovely talk that ended with a Ok Fine.

Ok Fine.

Let's let them get between us.

Let's.

Why?


Because they are the last remaining connection to your past (other than your family).

Why?

Because I know some of them very much preferred the past.

Why?

Because one of them has a connection to your past fairy tale.

Why?

Because you obviously value them far more.

Are you going to let them come between us?

Monotonous


That's what life has become. We all settle into a comfortable everyday routine that gets all too familiar after awhile.

Too familiar.

Some people, they want a simple life. They want to be simple people. But you know what? It is not our choice whether we are simple or have simple lives.

I'm different. I don't want a monotonous simple life. I want a life with lots of "winging", no plans, no stability, a so-called dangerous life. A life that's as complicated as it gets. I want an abstract life, full of adventure, and stories that I can wow my grandchildren with.

But sadly, not everyone gets what they want. I lead a relatively simple life, no matter how complicated I want it to be, and am a relatively simple person, no matter how complicated I make myself out to be. Or at least that's how I feel.

I've done stupid, stupid things that I regret and will be regretting for the rest of my life. This much I know. BUT, we all live through our regrets, wondering what could have been while hiding behind the mask of a seemingly innocent person.

Riding keeps me sane, because it is insanely dangerous. It is exactly the pill I need to tear myself away from the monotony.

At times, when you see me with a poker face (i.e when I'm out with Lazychoo's friends), I stare blankly at the wall in front of me. Not stoning, not thinking philosophically, but envisioning. Visualizing. Fantasizing if you may, of sinking my fists into the wall. Imagining that the wall has ridges all the way down, and pounding my knuckes against those ridges, smearing the wall with beautiful red.

The red keeps me sane.

There is no way to stop the pain, as everyone who's lived through it can tell you, but there is a way to stop the tears. To hurt on the outside, more that it hurts on the inside. But leaving scars would be catastrophic, as I have done. People start getting concerned and asking Hey Jazzy! What the hell happened to your arm?! so much that I had to have it bandaged up, which invariably drew even more attention.

Take a hot shower. Hot. Hotter. There. Even hotter a little. Watch in wonder as the bathroom mirror fogs up. Then the walls. Then the shampoo bottles. Watch in wonder as smoke surrounds you and your skin turns redder each second. And just before the first of the tears slip out, back your head into the steaming stream from the faucet.

You won't cry. I promise.

I want to travel. All over the world. Meet all kinds of people. Make all kinds of friends.

I want to lead a dangerous life. Living on the edge. You'll never get tired of living.

I want to love as much as I can. As much as I want. As much as I am loved.

Who am I?

I am just a girl who's locked up in a cage. Work. Eat. Watch cartoon. Sleep. Repeat. On Fridays, Saturdays and any special occasions, I get to meet Lazychoo's friends. Something must be wrong because we can't find anything to do together when alone, but we can do everything with his friends.

Special occasions for the special one? Screw that, let's spend that special time with the entire gang. Special dates? Screw those, we're going out with other people. Because we don't know where to go alone, we don't know what to do. We can't spend money ourselves, we MUST, simply MUST spend money with them even though we're going broke soon.

Why do I want to fly off alone? What do you think?

Peaking


Reaching the lowest peak already. Don't bother, you can't do anything to save me.

The only reason I'm still alive is because of my family.

Won't be blogging until this thing is over. Or until something interesting happens. Whichever comes first.


I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
My weakness is, that I care too much
And my scars remind me
That the past is real
I tear my heart open, just to feel

Another Epic day in office


Well... We're having an awfully sleepy weather today, with a little rain here and there, and the sky slightly downcast, and I'm stuck in office waiting for lunch-time.

So...

My deskmates started having a ball.

Mini red Dante.



Greeny humping mini red Dante.



Baby bunny humping mini red Dante.





This is what happened to Greeny's arm after it got caught in my raincoat bag's sling.



This is Baby licking Girl Girl after Girl Girl had a fight with Ducky and got the worst of it. Ducky's strutting around like a Queen right now because she knows she's the best fighter.



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My bike broke down at work on Thursday.



My technicians tried their hands at messing around with my bike, with me hovering behind nagging at them consistantly. After awhile we finally found the problem.


The new and the old.

My old fuse's shot to hell.

Nice?

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Working near so many car workshops, you get to see a LOT of really weird accidents.



Most of them you don't really know how it happened.

Hanz


We went to visit Hans the other day.



It was heartrending.

He doesn't recognise any of us.

He just kept sleeping, occasionally opening his left eye (his right's permenantly blinded) to look around at us and closing it again to go back to sleep.

Poor thing.

So remember, boy and girls, to strap on your helmet when on your bike at all times.


UPDATED 09/01/07:

Hanz is back in ICU again. Everybody, please, please pray for him.

Some words in life


... you should never, ever say.

"My life is already difficult enough, and you're making it even more difficult for me."

Because once said, will kill a person deep inside.

And when a person is dead inside, no matter how much time has passed and no matter what you've done to compensate, nothing will be the same again.

This is why, boys and girls, always, during an argument, take some time to cool off and speak level-headedly before spurting out things you definately are going to regret.

Do you want to live with a regret for the rest of your life?





A part of me died that night I jumped out of the car.

A part of me never came back..

The Abyss


Everyday.

For every day that I have stared into the darkest part of the abyss inside of me. For every single hour. Every single minute.

For every day that I have fought against it. For every day that I have kicked and screamed at it to go away. Now it captures me within its darkness, and in a perverted way I feel safe. Famaliarity can make one feel safe some times. Still...

Excruciating.

Why?

I've done nothing wrong.

Why have you come to haunt me again?

Will I never slip away from your everlasting grasp?

Stop tormenting me. Stop giving me voices and images inside of my head.

Because nobody will ever understand me. Nobody can.

Why is that crazy bitch so weird? Mood swings every hour, thinking about things she shouldn't be thinking.

Poor boyfriend.

Nobody understands...














Get away from me.

Le Evil Anthony




Evil, you.

The Ultimate Sign of a Good Year's Haul


My mummy, my sister and my Lazy went crazy with this year's Christmas presents. Each of them gave me 3 presents, while the near-broke me got them all only one each.

From Mummy dearest,



a webcam (for goodness knows what),



a 1 GIG thumbdrive (this, I need),



and a pug that can walk and bark for hours. Believe me, this is one cute little puppy.

From my sister,



This cute ornamental bear thingy, which opens up into an eye-make up with the eye shadows and mascara.



And this bag to put it in,



And this awesome hooded parka that I'm so in love with.



And, of all things, a box of pantyliners.



From my Lazy,



A pair of sunglasses we got from East Coast Park. Originally supposed to be someone else's present, but I decided that I wanted it for myself.



My back seat! My Lazy got it for me as a Christmas present, but couldn't resist giving it to me a few days earlier. He had the good people at First Motors mould one for him earlier on in the month without telling me.

Evil. *smiles*



This leather-like Adidas white sling bag that he skipped lunches for, wrapped up in a sweet white abandoned bear wrapping and a card proclaiming that Dum-Dum loves Darling.


Are you squirming yet?



Lazy's feet, which he refused to move when I was taking pictures of the presents.

And using $3 and an unbeatable skill of bear-bear-catching, he caught this for me as well.



Isn't this the sweetest thing ever?

And finally,



It's a picture puzzle of his favourite picture.

Which I gave to him.

Last year.

As a Christmas present.

That which was lying underneath his dresser for the whole year.

So finally we finished the puzzle and he got us a puzzle frame. So YAY~!

*3 pieces left* "Aiyah so easy." *He tries to fit the pieces in* "Cannot leh." *She reaches out and piece it* "Orh! Chey. So easy."

The present exchange


There was a present exchange between me, Lazychoo, Anthony and Roger. It was suggested by Anthony, and I seconded it, so the two older uncles had absolutely no say in it except to buy presents for us.

Roger's bike was spoilt on the night of the exchange, and it was raining, so Lazychoo, Anthony and I bundled into Lazychoo's van and we drove over to Roger's void deck to do the exchange.



Yay~

All our presents were quite normal, except that cheeky Anthony's, who wrapped it up, put it into a CPU box with losts of newspaper.

We did a lot drawing, and we all got our presents.



This is what Lazychoo bought:



A Chocolate dispenser. Roger got it.

What Roger bought:



Lazychoo got it.

What I bought and made:



Anthony got it.

Anthony bought a photo album and pasted all our photos together in it with a lot of decorations. I got it! Woohoo~!

Anyway, since we were all there, and Anthony brought along coloured paper and marker pens, I ordered all of them to choose a colour paper and design their own names on to the paper.



Kind of kiddish but it was worth it!







Putting the end product in place..



And voila!



It was worth it. It was worth all the trouble.

Company Christmas Party!


I am SO lucky to have a company with lots of fun-loving bosses who thinks money should be spent like water!

They actually booked the whole Scruffy Murphy's bar at East Coast just for all of us! There were easily over a hundred of us what with all the company branches and all, and we all just squeezed into the not-quite-big bar and just had fun.



Left to right: Stephen, yours truly, Eric, Wati, Chin and Lim.

Eric dragged us in to an area inside with air-con and told us to wait for the others there. But after 10 minutes and nobody came in, I started doing what I'm most good at:



Camwhoring. Again.



And after getting suitably bored of the hats we went out to find the rest of them milling about, not wanting to go in because it was crowded. Damn you guys.


Eric. He has lots of crappy jokes.



The three girls of our workshop, yours truly, Wati and Joyce.



The one in red is my direct boss. He's competing in a beer drinking competition.



Surprisingly, he won. 100 big shiny bucks for the workshop fund!

My tyre technicians, Ah Foo, Ah Kok and yours truly.



After taking this photo, Ah Kok made a special request to take a photo with Lazychoo. Hm.. I wonder why.

Maybe because they're both called Ah Koks? (No Lazychoo, don't kill me!)



Stephen, my warehouse supervisor.



My Lazy and me, taken right before the battle of the artificial snow started.





See! Even my camera also got snow.





Boss got aimed.









They kept buying the snow spray from the vendors, who magically appeared when we started battling.



And the most coincidental thing happened.



That, is Jiahe. A guy I've known from.. like.. 5 years ago? Used to be my jogging buddy, basketball friend, and a talk cock connection. We took our class 2B TP together, and I passed while he failed *sniggers*. He was there as a vendor, selling the snow spray.

Lesson learnt this year: Never spray a guy who is actually selling the sprays. Because he can chase after you and empty two cans on your head and still go back for more.



Damn you, stupid Jiahe!

This, is my BIG boss. He owns the entire chain of car selling company + my workshop.



Young, eh?

He got aimed too, until his whole body was covered in snow and the stringy thing.



Merry Christmas~!