.. or as I prefer to call it "Posting of Random Photos because I'm too Lazy to attach a story behind every one" *evil grin* So bite me. Muahahahaha~
Our first Swensen's ice-cream together! Obviously the photo-blogger in me couldn't let such an opportunity pass.
And then the sweet girlfriend in me couldn't let pass an opportunity to take loving photos together as well.
And on top of that, I distinctly remember my Lazychoo promising to take me for a ride on the hot-air balloon *hint hint*.
Well I forgot to add this in on my post regarding the me-and-lazychoo-are-ok post. I kind of got to know from a friend that Lazychoo's telling them not to side me anymore so that "I will learn". He says I think I'm always right. Well hey, I AM always right. Because I don't do things against my conscience and if I did, I'd admit it. I own up to things I've done upon questioning, and not give crap answers and find some other topic to digress.
Feels kinda' weird though, having someone whom you trust the most do this to you. It's like spreading poison among your friends to turn them against you. That's the bad thing about having shared friends I guess. Maybe I should get my own friends.
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LazyCAT.
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Updates on my room...
About the trophies. I've decided to keep them. Who knows, they may serve as great ashtrays in near future.
A lifetime of achievements squeezed into one box. Isn't that just great.
Mom was eating in her room while I was cleaning and ignoring my dog, so imagine my surprise when I took a fiver and found her sitting there,
waiting for food from mom, which was impossible since my mom would rather eat a sock than to feed her.
Since I'm cleaning out everything, many things that tugged on my heartstrings had to go. Like this,
and this.
Others, however much I'd like to have more space, simply cannot go. Like this hourglass from an ex-ice-skater, who wanted me to treasure my time,
and this little dude, who's all that's left of my sleepless days.
I used to have a whole bunch of these mini tots on my bed back in my old house. Because of my insomnia I played with them silently every night, using the curves and crevices of my blanket I used to explore the most exotic places with the most unusual animals right on my bed.
But anyway the rest of the mini tots got soaked through by a can of Pepsi that exploded in my cupboard (long story) so he's all that's left.
These two came from when I was a wee toddler. Along with a whole bunch of other soft toys (three huge black garbage bags to be exact) they're going to the Salvation Army. Somebody please reccommend someplace else because I don't owe the Salvation Army anything. They're acting like its their divine right that I donate something, First they ignored my email, and after sending a repeated email with a harsher tone they're asking me to wait till mid of July before they can come pick the things up. Irritating buggers, I feel like donating the stuff to the karang-guni man more than them, but I think of the children.
Ah well.
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8.45pm Yesterday.
Alone.
In my room.
Night falls.
There's this sudden feeling of lonliness. This sudden feeling of being engulfed.
Engulfed. Funny how sometimes words get stuck in your head.
Engulfed by the darkness. Engulfed by the lonliness.
I wished the night would come and take me away.
I sat down in a dusty corner and began to cry. I don't know why.
Everything is coming along nicely. Yet it felt as if the world was crashing down around me.
Devestation. Destruction. People running and crying.
Where is my baby? Where is my son? Oh my god she's dead! Have you seen my husband?
People shrieking. Ambulance comes too late.
It's all in my head.
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I think I won't be in a good mood for these few days until my room is done. I mean, look around your room.
See that favourite soft-toy over there? Or perhaps a picture frame from a special occasion? Or even a couple of books, CDs, albums. They're all a part of your room. They're all a part of you.
What if one day you have to tell yourself that you have to remove them? That you have to throw them away to make way for new things coming into your life? That you had to throw away the past to make way for a change in your life?
They were once part of you. Now they're nothing but garbage in someone else's eyes.
Would you be in a good mood?
Wait, I'm talking about material things here. Stuff that has no feelings whatsoever. Making way for more stuff that has no feelings. I'm not talking about people here, so you can forget about the not letting go of past because it's a part of you thing.
Look, if I can do it, I don't see why you can't. I can let go of my 2 carat engagement ring. Screaming and kicking, I know, but I let it go. Can you let go of the pictures?
No, you can't. And I have no right to ask that of you. I can only blame myself for being so stupid as to let the ring go for your sake.
....................
Wait, why am I even on this topic?
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Him.
Taps my shoulder from behind. "Hey you."
Looks back. "Hey! Didn't expect to see you here." But of course I expected, he's only living nearby.
"Haven't seen you in awhile. You've gotten thinner." Yea right, like everyone else hasn't already told me that.
"And you too. How're things going for you?"
"Well everything's fine. Company up and running, no longer messing with the old group, how're things for you?"
"I'm fine too. Waiting for money to fall out of the sky so I can study."
He laughs.
"Still the same old you, I presume?" Puts a hand on my shoulder.
"No, not the same old me." Shrugs his hand away. "I'm not who I used to be."
"Well I can see that." Backs off. Lady walks up behind him and takes his arm. "Erm, Jazzy, I want you to meet my wife. Lily, this is Jazzy."
"Hi Lily." Eyes grow cold. She takes my hand and shakes it. Whispers into his ear.
"Er Jazzy, sorry but I've got someplace else to be."
"Sure. Nice meeting you, ----, and you too Lily. "
His eyes roam over my face. Searching for something. Sees only stone-cold expression.
Heaves a sigh and then he's gone.
I don't ever want to see you again. You who saw through my strength and wilfulness and saw a little girl crying out for help. You who told me I would've made a good... wife. You who went ahead and got married not two months after I found out the truth.
I never... ever want to see you again.
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Pak-tor session with Lazychoo again! I don't think I'd ever get tired of running around in pak-tor mode with Lazychoo *grins*
Can you guess where we went?
It's become a ghost town already, what with all the attractions down and the place seemed dead.
But anyway, I had fun while Lazychoo got dragged around to see the statues with me. He was pretty tired that day, which did dampen my mood a little bit but hey, we're out together, that's all that matters.
Went to look for CS later on at night that day and took a couple of artistic pictures while waiting for him to come back from a delivery.
Lazychoo looking stony,
And our Macdonald's delivery guy, CS.
End of incredibly long photoblog.
