Confusion


So let me slip away..

Maybe I still don't know you well enough.

You're not who I thought you were.

It's all deception. It's all a front to keep me happy. Are you who you really are?

I read through all his old blog posts. And I find them disturbing.

Disturbing thoughts and disturbing beliefs.

We seem happy. We feel happy. When we're together we're so full of love. But what do you feel when you're alone? How're you supposed to feel?

I feel depressed, in a way that nothing can help.

It's not you. It's me. It's the masochist in me who refuse to let me be happy.

He said the person you marry will never be the person you want the most. It scares me.

What scares me more is that I believe in it too.

I always wanted to be the one that people want the most. Which can only mean one thing.

And the sad thing is that I already AM one. The one he wants the most. Twice.

And the sad fact is that I actually understood why he married her.

And the weirdest thing is I forgive him.

I forgive you.

Just get out of my life and be happy with yours.

Nothing... Nothing can erase the images in my head. Nothing can erase these thoughts. Nothing can erase what I already know. Nothing can erase you.

Thoughts. Thoughts. More thoughts.

Leave my mind alone.