Monday, November 20, 2006

Time


Prelude: I know I tend to go off topic most of the time, but that's just the by-product of having thought too much about things that most people normally won't think about or won't spare the time to consider in-depth about. Which must mean I have too much time on my hands.

With regards to my previous post on the subject of Death.

I found out that when you accept that death is going to come anytime and you're ready for it everyday, you learn to accept it readily and not fear it. Which might not be a good thing.

When you're too ready for death, you kind of expect it to come anytime. Soon.

And you're not willing to fight it anymore. Or sometimes, maybe even give it a little push in the wrong direction.

And perhaps even sometimes, you fantasize about it. How you would go, silently, or with a bang. Would your face be serene when you take your last breath? Or would your body be mangled into pulp as you scream your last scream in horror?

I almost did it the other night. I learned to let go of everything and just jump. I was prepared to.

I guess, in a way, a part of me did die that night. A part of us did.

Much later, when I related this to someone, he told me that perhaps it was not my time yet.

Which got me thinking: When exactly will be our time? When you learn to let go, or when it becomes inevitable? When?

People in a deep coma on life support. Their family members made the decision for them. It is not inevitable, he could still live. Is it his time?

People who chose to let go and stop fighting to live, and succeeds. Is it their time?

What about murders and homicides? Is it the victims' time? Or accidents caused by oversights. Is that all arranged at a special timing by Death himself?

I should think not.

Nothing in life is arranged. Everything that happens, is either coincidental, or you just have very good luck. If not, just learn to accept it and suck it up instead of bitching and whining about how bad your life is.

It is never the right time. There never was and never will be a right time.

Just be prepared.

1 comment:

Joanne said...

i thought bout death too. .i guess most ple at certain lowest points of their lives will be suicidal, whether they actually carry it out or not. Its juz a way of crying out theres too much to bear too little to hope for.