Saturday, June 21, 2008

I've Stopped Caring


I've stopped caring about your non-action about the goals you wish to achieve. Heck, I've stopped caring that your goals change every few days.

I've stopped caring that the only word you use more than anything else is "tired" and "don't know" when I try to talk to you.

I've stopped caring that you don't even send a single sms during the day or let me know if you are coming back late.

I've stopped caring whether or not you contact your friends.

I've stopped caring that your words hold no ground and that they change every few days.

I've stopped caring that you don't clean up after Mandy even when Mummy is very angry.

I've stopped caring that while having perfect vision, you are unable to see out of your small sphere surrounding you and assume that you're the only one working hard.

I've stopped caring that you flare up at me for telling you how I feel, because I've learned not to long ago.

I've stopped caring that you have no time or patience to listen to me when I needed to talk to you. You didn't even know about the name "Boreas" until my mom talked to me about it in front of everyone. And then when I tried to tell you at that time, you were too busy playing with the guys to listen to why you were the fucking last one to know. That was the first time I almost dropped a tear at the mahjong table.

I've stopped caring that my future is unstable with you and even if it is, it would only be a meagre existance because you proclaim to be too lazy to earn more money, for your car or house or whatever.

I've stopped caring that you've become complacent, and expects me to stay complacent along with you by flaring up at me when I brought up the topic of you upgrading yourself by going to study. And giving the excuse of having no money, a house being more important (to get our pets out of my mom's hair) so even if you had the money you'd buy a house first then think about studies, and then telling me two days later than you are "confirm getting a car soon".

I've stopped caring that you don't understand what I mean half of the time and demand that I have the patience to tell you until you understand while tolerating your accusations hurled every few seconds.

I've stopped caring that you twist and turn your words so that logic is on your side, then accuse me of using words the way you do, then apologise, then when your apology don't work, you go back to looking for something else to accuse me with.

I've stopped caring that you like to walk off during an argument and expect me to give chase, and if I don't you get even angrier. How the fuck am I supposed to know when you want me to hug you or when you want me to chase after you?

Heck, I didn't even care that much when you verbally lashed at me until I cried over something that doesn't concern us and what might have been a misunderstanding on Sunday, and then apologise for it on Thursday. I didn't care for the lashing, and I don't care much for the apology either.

So if I've stopped caring about so many things..

What makes you think I will care about this one?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hey, cheer up and look on the bright side :)