The C Word

Everybody else was right in saying that he won't stay hidden for long, that he will come back despite his numerous declarations that he's going away.

He contacted Lazy today and asked him out for dinner. Alone. A request made frequently by him in the past. Please lock your girlfriend up at home and come out alone because I don't want to see your girlfriend. Which is not wrong by nature, except for the fact that Lazy refuses to let me go for dinner with my own friends alone. Which is also not an unreasonable request given that Lazy's afraid of losing me, but the bad feeling could've been erased if I had been allowed to go along with him.

When Lazy called me and talked to me using his guilty voice, I knew something was up. Go lor, I said, using my most nonchalent voice. I know I haven't been the best of girlfriends, and with Lazy single-handedly supporting my new business startup, the least I could do is to let him go have his fun alone.

He wasn't asking for permission. He was asking if I minded or not. Either way, he could have gone without asking, but he took into consideration my feelings for his actions, which was very, very sweet of him.

Lazy's been the most supreme awesome boyfriend ever. Yes, he occasionally drives me barking mad with his nonchalence and sometimes brainlessness, but on the whole he's been peachy peach.

He used to be living under C's shadow, being commanded around and always made to believe that he is unable to do anything right. Ever since C left, he's become so much more of a man, with his growing confidence and sense of security. I always believed that a confident man is a competant man, and Lazy is my living proof. He's so much better at everything now, and is in total control of his own life.

I don't want him to go back to who he was, but I don't want him to not be able to do what he wants to do just to make me happy.

It's a dilemma for me as well. I used to hate this guy. But I have confidence in my Lazy to not be affected by C anymore now. And I'm learning to let go of any hangups for Lazy's happiness. Lazy wants me to be happy, so I want Lazy to be happy too.

C can dislike me all he wants, because all I care about is only Lazy. I lurve my Lazychoo choo choo.

I'm gonna stay at home and be a good girl for Lazy tonight.