You Didn't Know That...


... someone could hate you so much unless you've had a sprained wrist and went to a traditional chinese physician.

After a torturing shoulder massage session last night courtesy of my mom, which left me aching from my shoulders down to my spine, and both my arms and hands, I decided to go to a chinese physician today because I couldn't even turn a doorknob without flinching.

The first thing the physician did when I sat down was to take my hand in his gently, JAM his thumb into the vein that was hurting the most, DRAG his thumb all the way up my arm following the vein. Without warning. I almost fell off the chair.

What happened next was incredible. He kept hitting the back my hand like I was a bad child who stole cookies from the jar. I think he was aiming for that vein itself because when it got swollen he seemed quite self satisfied.

Then he got some whatthehellisit from his cupboard and I asked if there were needles in it. He looked at me in the eye and said yes. So what happened after that was that you could see a girl panicking in the room, saying no no no no no and the physician laughing madly. Evil.

It was the suction cup thingy which had NO needles in it. He just wanted to see me panic. But what he did after that, I wish it had been needles instead. He did the sucking thing on the spot that hurt the most, dragged it across my skin and pulled it off sideways in one swift motion, and he did it again and again. And again.

After the suction-cup-torture, he went back to running his knuckles across the vein. After a few minutes which seemed like an eternity, it was over.

Torturous, but the vein doesn't hurt now. Instead, the skin on top of the vein feels like they've been through a spin in the washing machine at top speed.

Please do not touch my left arm and hand for the next few day unless you want to risk a right jab (that would be on your left) from me.