This, is not the worst piece of shit ever created. But it's darn near there, right on the edge.
For some reason, I actually feel offended after I watched it.
For one, everyone's old. It's still okay.
They changed the person playing Evelyn from Rachel Weisz to Maria Bello. While Maria Bello is indeed a good actress, she did not match what Rachel Weisz stirred in us - a love for archaeology, Egyptology and most of all, adventure. Compared to her master acting skills, Maria Bello was just another pretty face.
If they're going to use old people in the film to preserve the authentic feeling of The Mummy nine years ago, they might as well use back the exact same cast.
Luke Ford absolutely trashed his role as Brendan Fraser's son. End of story.
Brendan Fraser was himself, though not as lovable in this film for some reason (I blame the script writers), but with less action and substantially less entertaining catchphrases. Old man already, lah.
John Hannah was spectacular in his supporting role as Evelyn's brother. In fact, he got one of the best roles (for this film) that stole chuckles and hearts from the audiences. By the way, did anyone notice what name his club was called? It's Imhotep, the name of the botak from The Mummy and The Mummy Returns.
Jet Li's role as the Emperor Han. While I'm not pissed with him, I'm pissed with the fact that the first emperor of China was Qin Shi Huang (note the missing "Han" from this name). Yes, he was half a monster by outlawing Confucianism and burying many of its scholars alive, yes, he might've entertained the thought of taking over the world, but he did not want to "enslave humanity for all eternity". Who in their right minds would want to do that? You'd have to be 9 years old to believe in this rubbish.
And for some really weird reason, whoever did the casting obviously did not do much thinking. Michelle Yeoh and Isabella Leong, while befitting of their roles, threw all respect I had for them out the window when they open their mouths. Both of them could not speak proper Mandarin, with Isabella calling Michelle "Mu Qing", quite literally meaning Mother.
Who the flash calls their moms "Mu Qing" anyway? During that era the way elders were addressed was different, yes, but the correct term is "NIANG". As in, "Which friggin' ku-NIANG wrote this script?". And for some reason, they were both speaking in English near the end, when Michelle summoned the CHINESE dead soldiers in ENGLISH, and Isabella crying and speaking ENGLISH to her CHINESE "mu qing" when her "mu qing" was about to die.
That's like me speaking German to you when you're in a tight spot and I'm trying to comfort you.
Anthony Wong got a long but shitty role because he was absolutely redundant in the show. So was his scar-faced companion. And even Wu Jing was absolutely redundant, because he only appeared for less than two minutes, despite his being a national champion in the art of Wushu. Might as well get some random guy and stick him in there for that measly two minutes of face-time.
As well, I see NO MUMMIES in the show. Not even one. It is not befitting of the awesome title of The Mummy. Being cursed and becoming a stone, then coming back to life and being able to turn into a three-headed dragon does not make you a mummy, it makes you a freak.
I must admit, Jet Li looks cool in his costume, and the effects were nicely panned. Which makes it all the more annoying that they're all wasted on this piece of crap. Under certain light angles, you can also sometimes see that his costumes is MADE OF PLASTIC. Especially if the place is dark.
I can't believe someone actually brought out the Yetis and someone approved of it. Yes, they looked nice, but seriously? Un-effing-believable. You're so out of it that you totally know you're in a cinema watching a show due to the incredulous "WTF?!"'s going on around you. It falls a long way short of two of it's prequels which engages viewers so much that the viewers were led by the noses into gasping at the majesty of the sand dunes and almost at once, heart-stopping panic at times.
Rob Cohen seriously wrecked the show.
An overview of the show? It's about some really bad guy wanting to destroy the world and some really good guys saving it in the end. With many big names that were un-utilised for their talent and the Mummy element thrown in hoping for a box-office success.
There goes the legend of The Mummy.
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