Zodiacs


Bunch of bullshit.

What zodiacs and horoscopes do is to find some annoying knack of majority of the people and stick it in repeatedly in different zodiacs. People identify with these annoying knacks, so proclaim the horoscopes to be true.

The only reason I don't really mind them is because we have recently entered into the age of the Aquarius. Yours truly. You can start calling me "Your Majesty" and deliver chocolates to my abode from now on.

Anyway.

Are you a loner? Jealous and possessive? Loyal to friends? Dislike annoying people? Then you must be a kukubirdian. Kukubirdians are generally general people. They secretly harbour grudges against people who've hurt them, putting on a front of not caring. They can never have enough money. They like sex. Lots of it. And they have semi-messy houses.

Is this true? If you believe in horoscopes made up god-knows-how-long ago by people who are eating snake during work, you'd believe this. You're a kukubirdian.

Heh.

However, friend of mine, Azly Jacaz (make fun of his name and I'll kill you) recently posted up a contraversial zodiac reading on the friendster bulletin that highly amused me. In his reading (I think it was copied from a book written by a cynical author tired of life) the zodiacs are unabashedly in-your-face-you-lousy-person frank.

You don't really have to believe what it says, because frankly most of them are just generalized anyway and when compared to actual people I know, totally not true.

Just look for your signs, sit back, relax, and have a good laugh at your own expense. Sorry Librans, somehow he left Libra out of the list. Lucky you.


Aquarius
January 20-February 18

You are a chilly, detached, eccentric loner, with perverse voyeuristic habits and a shard of ice in your heart. You're aloof, arrogant, distant and offbeat. You are insulated in your own world and don't feel the consequences of your words or actions. You observe everyone else and never react spontaneously to any experience. Whatever you're doing, the inner you is busy making observations and taking notes. You don't do routine or reliable. You want to be needed but won't ever admit you need someone.

You are cranky and surly when it would be more productive to be charming and cooperative. You are cold and standoffish to your family, and kind and forgiving to your drinking buddies because they make you feel superior. You signal your contrariness by dressing in eccentric clothes to ensure that we all recognize your fascinating otherness.

You get out of doing all the dull stuff by acting too absentminded, intellectual and otherworldly. People believe you are irresistible and don't mind doing things for you. You pretend you have important work to do and can't be bothered. You are the king of one-liners and vicious sarcasm. You do not do violence or physical contact, preferring to set phasers on stun from an accurately computed distance. You always go for mind games instead of war games.

You come across as an icon of cool, too glamorously ironic to be contaminated by the despicable neediness of the rest of the zodiac. Every time you get near a spontaneous outburst, you activate the defensive shields, so you can look on untouched while others tear themselves apart. It's logical, but also sterile and emotionless. You have never had emotionally unprotected sex or been swept away by lust. This means you are always in control, which is good, but it also means you can get bored and fidgety. You are unlikely to have a long-term partner. You despise clingy dependents just as much as you loathe jealous control freaks.

In social settings, you seem to always be in the center commanding attention by talking about cool stuff you want everyone to think you know all about. People think you are friendly because you hang around with so many groups, but in reality, that is because you need a large enough statistical sample to make your data collection viable. You are bored by any individual's feelings and sometimes duck out of the party, not because you like your privacy but because you are taking a moment to write up your field notes on your observations. Weak people drain you, so you occasionally need to get away to recharge.

At work, you can figure out the operating system of any job in about 10 seconds. You're never on time, customize your uniform and hate being overseen. Bosses hate you because they know you could do their job in your sleep. Colleagues are awed by your insolent independence, but get upset when they come across the notebook listing all their quirks, catchphrases and secrets they told you in confidence because you seemed so nice and friendly.

Your home is a virtual reality, complete with books, papers, posters, computer peripherals, gadgets, experiments, chalkboard and a cat (cats love you.)



Pisces
February 19-March 20

Pisces is a slippery, manipulative, unreliable reality-dodger with delusions of adequacy and an addiction to sentimentality and self-destruction. You have candy-colored dreams in which you are the hero/heroine who saves the day, asking nothing but everlasting gratitude and unconditional love in return. You want to make it all better for the sad and inadequate. But, deep down, your vicarious wallowing gets in the way of what you think you want to do and who you want to help. If by chance you do manage to get anyone back on their feet and they start succeeding at life, you get insanely jealous and start pricking their self-esteem.

Your natural habitat is murky emotional depths, where you drift about vaguely, moaning about the intolerable pressure the world puts you under. Because you have the willpower of a marshmallow, whenever you feel cosmically hard done by, you climb into a bottle or book a vacation in Fantasia. You appear to be helpless and put upon, but you're not. You know the manipulative value of martyrdom and suicide threats.

Anyone who has to deal with you should always carry a tape recorder, for anything mutually agreed two minutes ago, you will deny utterly two minutes later. You set out on a sentence full of optimism and jollity; by the time you get to the end of the sentence, you are one with Eeyore and everyone else has lost the will to live. What you want now is never what you will want in one minute, or what you did want three minutes ago. You have no persistence of vision. You will occasionally have a red flash of ambition, but unfocused is more your style.

Pisces have no armor and can't risk a straightforward fight, so you rely onmanipulation and the tyranny of the weak instead.

In the bedroom, you love for someone to take charge. You want to be played with and used. You enjoy role playing. It's not for the sex (although you quite like sex and 90 seconds is plenty long enough for your attention span). You do it to stop being yourself and dissolve into someone else and to abase yourself and make someone else responsible for you. You are tooth-achingly sentimental. Lovers shrink before the collection of 2,000 cuddly toys in your bedroom and go red in the face at the thought of the pet names you give them. You always confuse sex with love and affection, (which is why Scorpio always fools you.)

If things are the least bit difficult in a relationship, if you feel pressured, or if a better offer comes by, you simply drift off. You never feel guilty because it's always someone else's fault.
Quantity is the only thing that will absorb all the neediness you pump out, and that will generate enough energy to replace all that you absorb, so you swim around with a huge school of acquaintances. Because you have a nano-attention span, and can't be bothered to do any work on existing relationships, you are always looking for a New Best Friend. You target the sick, ugly, outcast, or psychologically damaged because you think they will be grateful and fulfill some of your many needs. At the same time, you need a hero to feed off of, who will let you be a doormat so that you can get yourself off the boring hook of personal responsibility.

Brightsiders claim you're a romantic, but you're just a sentimental drifter. You float in and out of relationships without a second thought, pulled by the strongest current.

In work, you are typically labeled as creative, but that's just a fancy description for unemployable. You tend to drift at work. You may stare blankly at a wall for hours, waiting for inspiration, or close your eyes to awaitthe muse. Your lack of energy and coordination, and a pig-headed adolescent determination to buck the system, don't help. When you are not praised extravagantly for the work you have done, you feel hard done by, sulk, bitch, and go to the bar for the rest of the day or week. Yet you are ambitiousand want to get on, as long as it does not involve doing anything.



Aries
March 21-April 19

Aries is a loud, overconfident, aggressive thug with way too many Y chromosomes and a will of titanium and granite. You are all about "me-time" and don't really care how anyone goes about giving it to you. You're greedy, aggressive, argumentative, restless, willful, confrontational, headstrong and elf-obsessed. You are the zodiac's permanently enraged adolescent. You have a "problem with authority." You are not subtle. No one will ever find you sitting quietly brooding or pondering. You blunder through the world, looking for new frontiers to smash. Nobody tells an Aries what to do. You have never willingly finished anything in your life. You're just one big booster rocket, all fired up for blastoff, and falling away as soon as your boredom threshold is reached. Some of you can't even get to the end of a sentence before moving on.

Pathologically, addictively competitive, you have to come first in everything and you will do anything to win, as your concept of fair play means that you triumph. If you want to say something nasty about someone, you don't sneak around. You just open your mouth and blast away. Aries is typically a bloodlusty, violent braggart. You don't tolerate opposition or even a mild difference of opinion.

Sex is just another extreme sport as far as you are concerned. You don't like to waste time. Foreplay is for wimps. You are strictly a notches-on-the-bedpost kind of person. You always need to be told that you are the first and best lover you're partner's ever had. Your affairs burn with a gemlike flame for several days, during which time you are extravagantly possessive and jealous every time your prey steps out for a comfort break. Lust does not quench your competitive spirit. You have to do it harder, faster, longer and quicker than anybody else.

In love and relationships, once you get the prize, you wander off to find a new challenge. You have very few friends because people refuse to do everything you say, admire your every action and not criticize anything you do. You have to be in control at any social event, even when you're a guest. You insist on running your friends' and family's lives for them. Plus, you get ragingly jealous if any of your friends demonstrates the slightest ability to do anything better than you. If that occurs, you are forced to cut them loose and acquire new friends. You fall in love hard and often, but out of love just as frequently.

In work, you have to run the show. You think you know better than anyone else how to do the job. You are hired for your energy, direction and drive; however, you come in, shout with confidence, act aggressively, meanwhile alienating the workforce and tearing down old systems. You don't put in anything new in place, though. Brash, crass, and insensitive, you are a nightmare to work with because you never listen, are morbidly competitive, throw hissy fits and you can't stand being told what to do. If for some reason you do get fired, you go on a rampage of revenge.

At home, you are obsessed with gadgets and see no reason to tidy up. You are a junkyard transitional. You never knowingly finish a renovation job. The color that suits you best is red.



Taurus
April 20-May 20

A stubborn, sybaritic, rut-bound bully, fueled by dull resentment and an insatiable love of money. A taurus is a hidebound, reactionary Ubermaterialist, superglued into a rut several feet deep. You are obstinate and an opinionated authoritarian. What you really like is stuff: in your mouth, on your plate, in your bank, in your bed, in the bag. You stubbornly refuse to accept the folk wisdom that tells us we can't always get what we want. And when you've got stuff, you hold on to it with a grip that it would be laughable to describe as viselike. Possessive seems too weak a word. And the evil spawn of possessiveness is murderous jealousy and resentment. You are possessive, jealous and resentful of the people in your life too. You timetable their every hour and always want to know where they are.

Your pig-headed obstinancy, obdurate opinions, and refusal to change are a result of a lack of imagination. Your little bully brain can't compute more than two variables at once, so when faced with something complex or unusual, you go rigid and do what you have always done. Often that is nothing, so you tend to get buried alive by avalanches you refuse to notice. What softens your tough hide is your self-indulgent hedonism. Your favorite deadly sin is greed.

Taureans don't get much hassle; standing still, looking solid, usually does it for you. You can only be prodded into action if your food or money supply is threatened.

In bed, once you've learned how to make the earth move, you just keep on singing the same old song. It gives a whole new meaning to the word "rutting." Lovers have suffocated from boredom in your bed. You resent any attempt to bring a little novelty or spontaneity into the routine. Show you a Kama Sutra and you'd try to eat it. When you've got someone, you hang on to them. Even if your lover tries all 50 ways to leave, you still follow them around bellowing piteously. This is called stalking.

You usually stand alone. You have friends, but they are those whom you meet in the same place, the same time, on the same day of every month. Everybody always does what you want to do; you think this is because they agree with your choice. In fact they are being pragmatic; they just know your Olympic obduracy. In marriage, you make it very clear that it's going to be your way or nothing.

In work, you have always steered clear of anything marked vocation or social conscience, because the only thing you care about is the paycheck. This means you will do more or less anything, as long as you don't have to respond to emergencies or get too sweaty. Colleagues soon learn not to walk on your patch of carpet, never to rearrange the ornaments on your desk, and never ever to use your special mug. They also learn not to ask you for a decision unless they have a month hidden in the job schedule.

On vacations, you tend to go to the same places you've always went. You are addicted to guided tours.



Gemini
May 21-June 21

Gemini is an unreliable, rouguish sociopath with a light finger and the attention span of a hyperactive mayfly. You have a facade of sincerity; underneath that layer is a cold-eyed, cold-hearted, bad-mouthing, two-faced, reckless rumormonger who scavenges information to use to shaft someone later. There is no cunning so low you can't limbo under it; no scam so complex that you can't get your devious, slippery mind around it. Con artistry is a game to you. Yet in spite of all your conning and conniving, you are never satisfied with what you get, are you? To block out gloomy notions that you might be missing out on something better, you have to be entertained at all times, otherwise you might get bored. Ritalin is your friend.

You are in a permanent midlife crisis of your own making: a discontented self-obsessed commitment-phobe who refuses to grow up. You are irresponsible, inconsistent, impractical, immature and incorringible. You are the zodiac's bitch queen. You deliver lightning rapier zigzags with sparkling wit and style. You tend to prefer the long knife slid between the ribs to noisy confrontation in which you might get hurt. You move so fast that you leave enemies lashing out at your shadow.

As your gonads are wired to your head, not your heart, you love sex because it's a game you're really good at. You must never be bored in bed. A lot of your sex takes place in unusual places or situations. You always like a nice old-fashioned orgy, because when dullness rears its head, you just move right over. The best sex for you when pleasuring one lover while flirting with the next two over their shoulder. You blarney your way into the hearts of many and then move on. You don't dump though; you prefer to keep your options always open. Your relationships are about quantity not quality. You were born to network and can't live without a swarm of lovers. You are a professional flirt. Your idea of commitment is restricting yourself to three or four concurrent partners.

Your native instinct to deceive and dissemble means that you survive well in the workplace. You clamber up the ladder easily with your charm. Your weapons of choice are gossip and blackmail. You expend a lot of energy arranging things so that you can get maximum reward for minimum effort.



Cancer
June 22-July 22

Cancer is a grumpy, secretive, passive-aggressive grudge hoarder, with bipolar mood swings and a positive genius for pointless worrying. You are grumpy, moody, wingy, snappy, graceless, gloomy, grudge-encrusted, devious and fretful. You distrust life and have no faith in the future. To build immunity against fate's random cruelty, you look for homeopathic doses of gloom wherever you scuttle. You well up over anything lonely and hopeless. You love to whine about everything and everyone and are shamelessly addicted to other's misfortune.

You remember everything nasty anybody ever said about you. You never give away your own emotional secrets. People think you are shy and diffident and you work hard to promote that illusion, but in reality, you are afraid people might use your secrets against you. You don't do confrontation; sniping and preemptive defense are your preferred attack modes. Only a very lost cause or a slight to a family member's honor will get a Cancer to fight.

You can only really relate to someone if you feel needed. You can make lovers and friends feel permanently guilty without them ever knowing why. What you like best is attaching yourself to someone who has made it clear that they are unavailable long-term and then pining when they leave you. Crabs of all genders suffer from the Mistress Syndrome. You play hard to get with sex. Your lovers are blinded by lust so they keep trying to get through your impenetrable barrier. You know that deferred gratification is the key to keeping people hanging on. When you do finally let someone have their way with you, you lay in a frenzy of passion-slaying worry...will the bed creak? Will I still love you tomorrow? Have I put the cat out? You never give up on ex-lovers. You also never dump in a relationship. You make yourself even grumpier, moodier and more depressed than usual so that they want to leave you. Ex-lovers have to emigrate, marry someone else and die before you will accept that it is over.

Bosses like you because you work hard. You work harder and longer than anyone else because then you can feel hard done by and can bewail your sorry lot in life. You also like a job for which you are overqualified so that you can feel superior and tell everybody else what to do.

Your home is full of stuff. You keep everything. Clutter is your forte' You often share your home with the destitute, misfits and refugees, not because you particularly care for them, but because you simply don't notice them hanging around amidst all your stuff.



Leo
July 23-August 22

Leo is vain, arrogant, bossy, boastful and condescending with an all-pervasive addiction to unconditional sycophancy. All Leos are kings, yet inside your hollow crown, you know that you are an arrogant, intolerant, patronizing pompous, self-centered bully, a snob, and a drama queen. You are still stuck in your terrible twos and you can't really believe you're getting away with it. You live in fear that someone will find out you're not who you say you are and take away your crown. You absolutely have to be adored by everybody all the time. This lust for adoration is often your downfall because you are very easily flattered and believe every word. You fail to notice that while you are blissing out, others are usurping your powers. You can't hear the plotting behind the ones who are adoring you, so you can be very easily manipulated.

You expect the world to revolve around you and plunge into a sulk if it doesn't. You are never, ever wrong and you have people who have been trained to keep it looking that way. Your number one sin is pride. Leos do not fight. They have an army for that kind of thing. Right is always on your side, so any fights you get into are always unprovoked.

Leo sex is about performance and applause. To you, intimate passion is not necessarily just you and your partner. Mirrors and a satellite uplink are basic requirements. The bigger the audience, the better. You focus on style and posturing so much that you fail to notice your partner has gone to sleep. You would be better off with a harem. You don't do relationships well. You instead have a group of alliances or worshipers. You are a condescending snob. You ally yourself with people that make you look good. If people displease you, you drop them without an explanation. In any romance, you initiate the game. It is conducted at your command.

In work, you're the boss, or at least you have to appear to be. You don't work well unless you're in charge. You may appear to be a workaholic, but really you are only good at face time; you can be titanically lazy.



Virgo
August 23-September 22

Virgo is a peevish, hypercritical anal-retentive, with an obsession for sterile perfectionism and a pedantic fetish for detail. Virgos are famous for telling it like it is. You are just as laceratingly tough on yourself as you are on the rest of the world, only on the inside where no one sees it.

You are a negative, tiny-hearted fusspot obsessed with detail, who does nothing but carp and criticize. You secretly fear that you might be wrong, but won't admit it. You despise the weak. Your first impressions are cast in stone. You're a sucker for cults, faux gurus and food fads. You are a stickler for order and will not tolerate anything out of place, either at your own house or at another's.

In love you are either a high-maintenance tease or a bunny-boiler. Sex is by the book and overanalyzed afterwards. You never dump a lover. You always want to talk about it, to point out the faults of the other. No one can live up to your fusspot perfectionism, not even you.

You love work and are the perfect lackey. Bosses like you because you'll come in at a moment's notice. It's not the money, it's the status and respect you crave. And if you don't feel valued, you avenge yourself with spite, sarcasm, bitchery, backbiting, gossipmongering, petty politicking and snitching.



Scorpio
October 23 - November 21

Scorpio is an obsessive, possessive manipulator with an unquenchable lust for power and a penchant for degradation. Scorpios are power-crazed, brooding, obsessional, ruthless, intense, sexy sadists. The Scorpio darkside is darker than the rest, almost out of the dark into a whole other dimension, a kind of soul-sucking meta-dark, where suddenly the words "evil" and "mastermind" seem inadequate. There is no sin, depravity, perversion, cruelty, degradation or villainy they wouldn't consider. You may never carry out your desires because you are a control supremo and find that it's sometimes even more exquisite and refined to deny yourself than to indulge. You are analytical and calculating. You have never been known to apologize for anything, since it would make you look weak; nor do you grant second chances. If people let you down, they're nonpersons and are completely shunned. If it wasn't for your self-destructive streak and obsession with sex, the rest of us would be in trouble because you will stop at nothing to get what you want. You can always be distracted by lust. Your deadly sin is your lust: lust for power, lust for money, lust for status, lust for revenge, lust for other bodies, lust for your own.

In sex, there is nothing you won't try. You love sex-lots of it, at any time, anywhere: straight, deviant, and downright weird, because you know that sex is power. Sex with you is intense, passionate and erotic. But, it's the sex you love, not the one you're with. Of course, while you are often almost blind with lust, you are always in control in any relationship, and sex is on your terms. You might want serial one night stands. You might want intense, constant, obsessional sex with a single lust-slave. You might even want to show how in control you are and give up sex altogether for a life of celibacy. Regardless, the choice is always yours, never the partner's.

You are well aware of the difference between love and sex (which is why you make really hot sex-workers and bonk-buddies), but you don't care if others aren't. The world is littered with Scorpio discards (usually Pisceans) who believed that a 12-hour lustfest meant it was time to start choosing drapes.

Most people are scared of you. They just do what you say. You are not a natural socializer. You have lots of acquaintances but only a few close friends, whom you have chosen because they are loyal and noncompetitive. You never forget and forgive. You can have a long-term relationship, but are jealous and possessive and always read secret diaries. You must be the dominant partner.

In work, you are a raging competitor. You do your job, keep your ears open and your eyes down, pick up all the contacts, techniques, and inside info you need, then go off and set up your own empire. Once you've trashed the opposition, you get bored and move on to something else. Your favorite color is black. Your home is often sparse of furnishings and extremely tidy.



Saggitarius
November 22-December 21

You are reckless, tactless and an obnoxious oaf with a morbid fear of restraint and an addiction to losing your shirt. You are brash, crass, loudmouthed and impetuous, but not stupid. You know that if you look remorseful enough, odds are you'll get away with any kind of naughtiness. You are a mindless hooligan and game for anything risky, violent and pointless. No one keeps you on a tight rein, or any rein at all. You crash your way through any barriers. You run from commitments. You tell it like it is without waiting to be asked. You can't keep secrets. You're not here to live only once; you live twice and then some. Whatever you do, you take it to the limit and push it over the edge. Gambling is your biggest vice. You love to fight, preferably within a large crowd. Sometimes you don't even care how or why it started as long as you're in the middle of it. You're a loose cannon.

Your sex life is rigorous, adventurous, energetic and enthusiastic. You love sex and exert so much overzealous passion that you often leave your partners spent and breathless. You want your partner to feel loved during sex so you make kind sentiments of love to them but rarely follow through with it after the sex is over. You want to have sexual adventures with as many people as possible. You can not be tethered. You don't do well with routine and boredom, so you bolt, usually in the middle of the night.

In social gatherings, you are the relentless life of the party. Careless and indiscriminate, you will relate to anybody, but not for long, just in case they try to tie you down. You have affairs because you can't resist adventures.

You're not lazy at work. You tend to get bored easily so typically run three or four jobs at once. If stuck in an office, you will play pranks out of boredom. You tend to be a risk to employers because of your hyperactivity. You often crash at a friend's house because you either don't have a home of your own or don't really care to go there. Home to you is wherever you throw your hat. You never stay anywhere for long.



Capricorn
December 22-January 19

You are a cold, cruel, petty minded slave driver with unsuspected yet unquenchable ambition and an addiction to tightfisted penny-pinching. You are mean, miserly, cold-hearted, self-opinionated, petty, negative, unforgiving and pessimistic. You seem ultra-respectable and old-at-heart on the outside while claiming to be insecure. You have the stamina and relentlessness to push people until they give in and follow your way. You hate to be teased, embarrassed or made to look undignified. You'd do absolutely anything to preserve your social status. You'd also prefer to keep your ruthless, pathological ambition under wraps.

The formal, conventional pinstripes and stiff manner are all a front to cover your mischievous lechery and anarchic goings-on. It's possible you make deals with the devil. You are extremely strong-willed, stern and stifling. You're like a machine. Your goal in life is to maintain order, propriety and respectability.

You avoid direct physical violence, preferring purges and show trials instead. You crack down hard on deviant thought, and action taken in defense of the status quo is always justified.

Your sex life is mundane and repetitive. Your typical sex session is just that...typical. It's rare for you to venture out beyond your boundaries and constraints. In fact you'd prefer to be doing other far more important things; however, every once in a while, the inner goat can be glimpsed. You have a notoriously unquenchable lust and randiness that you keep repressed. You don't dump in a relationship, unless you've been betrayed, in which your never-ending revenge is terrible. Most of the time, the object of your affection never knows they've caught your eye. You despise flirting and never say the L-word unless you have to.

You are not a party-goer. You don't waste time on having fun. You've given up on friends because they don't appreciate your help. You do understand the need for a social ladder. Since you crave status and respectability, you will cultivate useful acquaintances, even shady characters that shouldn't be trusted or liked. You approve of marriage because it is financially sensible. What's love got to do with it?

You impress your boss by arriving early and leaving late. Others in the office make fun of you, but you get back at them by trampling over them, using their ideas and making yourself look better to the people in charge. Your goal at work is power, not glory. You want to be the decision maker and executive so you can make the office miserable for the people who laughed at you. Your home is only open to business contacts. Friends are not invited and are only allowed inside if they are respectable looking.


*UPDATED 02/04/07 with the latest inclusion of Libra*

Libra
September 23-October 22

You are vain, shallow and petulant. You are a spendthrift with an unerring eye for style over substance and a lifelong dedication to the quest for an easy meal ticket. You are superficial and shrewd, made of vanity, fickleness, idleness, extremes, follies, whims and inconsistencies. Underneath your vacant smile, you are an antsy malcontent, restlessly searching for satiation. When stuff doesn't satisfy your need, you turn to people. You simply can't help using people and they fall over themselves to let you. Underneath the ditzy surface is a double entry bookkeeper. You have a column for favors out and one for favors in. The books are balanced daily and you are quick to collect debt from those who owe you. You're not the sweet, helpless little cupcake you want everyone to think you are. You love the feeling of power. You're the zodiac's drag queen, a masculine sign that outclasses its inner girlie when it comes to frocking up and what were once known as feminine wiles.


You can not make a decision. You play for time, gathering data, in the hopes that rather than having to make a decision or choice, you can end up with both options. Librans don't fight. They might rip up their Armani. The tend to stand back and hold the coats. You are never sure which side it is to your advantage to be on, so you always wait to see who's won.


In sex, you are easy and teasy. You flatter and flirt, fondle and kiss, and make boudoir eyes at your prey; but you don't do unbridled lust because that would make you sweaty and out of control. You do sex because it's better than working, not because you can't help yourself.


If you find yourself with someone not suitable, you simply make them over. You are always with the one you love, because the love of your life is you. You are your own soulmate. You are in love with the power of love and what it can get you. You do great with marriages of convenience.
Your style of work is one that doesn't actually involve working. Your work tools of choice are lethal charm, power flirting and high caliber manipulation. You often get other people to foot the bill.


---------------- And a note from the man himself,

Ok that's the end of it lest there's an undiscovered hybrid of new horoscopes.

Please note that I didn't write all these so don't credit me. The person that you should credit is a female earthling called Stella Hyde who written the book, "Darkside Zodiacs".
I think she's a scorpio by the way this was written.

K i'm out.
AJ